Kidnapped by the Markmen. And Delivered to Bob.

“Kidnapped by the Markmen. And Delivered to Bob.” - Episode 248

What started as a disastrous concert ends in something far worse… 😳🎻💥Meet Bob….

In this episode of Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy, stranded Earthling Nicki Rodriguez attempts a desperate escape through the eerie, deserted woods of Perswayssick County—only to be ambushed, boxed up, and dragged into a nightmare she never saw coming. 🌲🌑📦

Trapped alongside the unhinged canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, Nicki finds herself at the mercy of the sinister Markmen—and their chillingly calm leader… Bob. 🕴️🔫

Inside a gloomy mierk factory basement, secrets tighten like a noose, loyalties fracture, and survival becomes a ticking clock. With one wrong move, this bizarre kidnapping could turn into something far more permanent… 😬⏳

Will Nicki outwit her captors?
 Will Gneeecey talk his way out—or make everything worse?
 And what exactly does Bob want?

🎙️ Dive into this darkly hilarious, high-stakes sci-fi comedy episode packed with:
 ✨ Absurd alien worlds
 ✨ Twisted humor & chaotic banter
 ✨ Suspenseful storytelling
 ✨ Unpredictable dimension-hopping danger

If you love comedy sci-fi podcasts, bizarre adventures, and stories where logic takes a coffee break and chaos runs the show—you’re in the right dimension. 🚀😄 👉 Hit play for a twisted blend of sci-fi, fantasy, dark comedy, and surreal adventure! 🎧 Listen now https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com 🎧 perfect for fans of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and bizarre, story-driven audio fiction!

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. Artwork Created by Vicki Solá & ChatGPT, Nicki Rodriguez based on Jay Hudson’s The Getaway That Got Away book cover illustration. 

#ComedyPodcast #SciFiComedy #FantasyPodcast #WeirdFiction #DarkComedy #hitchhikersgalaxyfans #montypythonfans #PodcastSeries #AlienWorlds #AbsurdHumor

Transcript

Transcript / “Kidnapped by the Markmen. And Delivered to Bob.” - Episode 248, by Vicki Solá.

(Based on material from THE GETAWAY THAT GOT AWAY by Vicki Solá  (© 2011, Full Court Press) 

All content © 2026 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. 

SFX: [Misgivings & Misfortune] [Church Bells] [Sneakers Squeaking]

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Yep, Gneeecey’s great disaster of a concert was over, and it was time for me to cut out. Time to flee into those deserted Street Road woods—now filled with bare-branched trees—and time to say those four little innocent words…words that would either return me to my earthly dimension…or get me killed. My heart pounded against my ribcage like a machine gun as I opened the heavy door and strode backstage. 

SFX: [Metal Door Open] [Sneakers Squeaking] 

“Ya ruint my whole concert, ya lousy Ig,” yelled the elbow-high Gneeecey, jumping out of the shadows and pummeling my kneecaps. SFX: [Pummeling] 

“What’s your problem?” I asked, backing away.

“Ya brung me baaad luck!”
“Yeah,” piped in giant mouse Altitude, as he took a flying leap into the air and ripped his
trousers SFX: [Fabric Rip], trying to kick me. “An’ looky, boss—she jus’ busted my pants!”
“Oh, and uh, Stu’s out there gathering up all the cables,” I volunteered, pushing past the two of them. SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] “He said he’ll bring ’em back, y’know, to our GAS studios on Vompt Boulevard.” All seven of the donkey-humanoid intern’s chins had bounced to his sunken chest when I’d stuffed that crisp twenty dollar bill in his greasy palm.
“Stinkin’ whatever, Ig,” snapped Gneeecey, on my heels. “Now git back home like I done told ya, an’ get everythin’ ready! Like I said, I’m bringin’ his Hynesty, our Grand Oogitty Boogitty back for lunch, an’ if he ain’t impressed, he stinkin’ might not help me overturn the lousy election!”
“Yeah!” screeched Altitude.
“Uh-huh…whatever,” I mumbled, striding past a strange, brown, four-wheeled receptacle that towered over me. SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]
The moment I stepped out into the corridor, someone grabbed me from behind and dumped me, head first, into the crate. SFX: [Wood Demolition Bang] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] As I flailed around, something large and furry crash-landed on me, screaming, “We’re all gonna die!” 

A split second later, something small and furry struck my skull, shouting, “Yeah!”
 A lid thundered down from above SFX: [Metal Door], and we rumbled away, in blackness. SFX: [Vehicle Wagon Carts] Then, a constant chewing sound below caught my attention. SFX: [Saw B] Could only be a rat, I thought, heart thumping through my chest.
 “C’mon,” shouted someone outside, “help me get this big sucker out the door!” SFX: [Metal Door Open] [Vehicle Wagon Carts]
 We tumbled into the midst of what sounded like a marching band, punctuated by the plaintive, high-pitched neighs of a horse. SFX: [Marching Band] [Horse Whinny]
 Gneeecey kicked my chin. Hard.

“Ow! What’s wrong with you—besides the obvious?”

“Don’t get intelligent wit’ meee, Ig! That’s my horsey! Stinkin’ halp! My horsey! Get me outta here—I gotta go lead the parade for our Grand Oogitty Boogitty! Then I’m gonna bring him home for lunch!” 

“Bye guys!” squeaked Altitude, as he squeezed through the tiny hole he’d just chewed. “I’m outta here!”
Gneeecey slapped me. “Dirty rat—desertin’ a stinkin’ ship!”
I slapped him back. “You’re just freakin’ jealous you didn’t fit!”
He jammed his face in mine. “I gotta get to our Grand Oogitty Boogitty before he stinkin’ leaves! He won’t be back for a whole ’nother year, an’ I need his help now! It’s a matter of life an’ deaf!” 
“Let’s wheel this baby up the ramp,” ordered a gruff voice. “Bob don’t like to be kept waitin’.”
SFX: [Vehicle Wagon Carts] Gneeecey stuck to my ribs like porridge on a winter morning as our dungeon-on-wheels trundled up a steep, notched slope. Moments later, doors boomed shut SFX: [Doors Metal] and a powerful engine fired up, vibrating beneath us. SFX: [Engine]
After a lurch, our unsecured container slammed back and forth, nearly capsizing several times. SFX: [Vehicle Wagon Carts] [Wood Demolition Bang]
“Hey, Ig,” whimpered Gneeecey, as his rancid breath wafted into my nostrils, “I don’t feel so good—think I’m gonna—”
“Don’t you dare.”

SFX: [Phartz]

“Oh geez! I am gonna die!”

“Can’t help it Ig! That jackass meat sandwich I ate right before the concert didn’t mix good wit’ my nervous stomach!”

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Scary Background II] [Vehicle Wagon Carts]
 “Awright, youse three—out!”
The crate tilted forward, depositing us on a trash-littered warehouse floor. SFX: [Doors Metal]

[Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Comedy Boing] [Duck Horn] “Stinkin’ ow! Landed on my lousy bimbus!”

The dark place reeked of burnt mierk.
 “Hey,” snarled blond, big-nosed Mark, “I only see two of dem.”
 Gneeecey pointed to the hole Altitude had chewed. “Lousy little rat escaped!”
The Markman whipped out his revolver. “He won’t get far—an’ neither’ll youse two—so don’t try nuthin’ stupid.”
“Y’know,” began the double-jointed Gneeecey, gnawing on his elbow, “if youse wanted to meet here in your Mierkolatory basement, all youse hadda dooo was ask—ya didn’t hafta go to all this trouble.”
“On your feet—botha youse,” ordered tall, brown-haired Mark.
Gneeecey began jumping up and down and waving his hands. “Bob! Bob!”
The gray-suited figure ignored the frantic canine-humanoid.
“He’s their leader,” Gneeecey informed me, reverence in his tone. “His socks even light up! An’ backwards, his name’s still Bob!”
 A familiar-looking silver-haired gentleman strolled toward us SFX: [Footsteps Concrete], argyles flickering.
 “Heya, Bob,” began the good diroctor, “hope there ain’t no hard feelin’s, y’know, ’bout me bustin’ up that lobby of your beaudiful Tricycle Club restaurant—I awready told ya that crash was the lousy Ig’s fault, an’—” 

“We’ve already debited your account and rebuilt our entrance.”
 Gneeecey began sucking his thumb.
 Bob’s creepy electric-blue eyes flashed my way. “And don’t worry, miss, you won’t have to ride any two-wheelers here.”
I couldn’t steady my knocking knees.
Bob crossed his arms. “Take ’em away—throw ’em in Interrogation One.”
The blond Markman grinned. “Wit’ pleasure, boss.”
Gneeecey fell to his knees. “Can’t stay—gotta catch up wit’ his eviscerated holiness, before he stinkin’ blasts back into outer space for a whole ’nother stinkin’ year!”
Bob yawned.
“Pleeeeeease, Bob—It’s a matter of life an’ deaf!”
Bob snapped his fingers. SFX: [Finger Snaps]
The Markman jabbed his pistol into my back. [Metal Click 4] “Yeah, boss?”
“Don’t waste my time till one of ’em talks.”

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###