Havoc in Holy Krapp's Hortense Hasenpfeffer Wing

“Havoc in Holy Krapp’s Hortense Hasenpfeffer Wing,” Episode 214

This week in Perswayssick County, Sooperflea and Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey find themselves stuck inside Holy Krapp Hospital’s Hortense Hasenpfeffer Wing—and the chaos is only getting started!

👉 Zig insists he’s fine (😬) even as two voices pour out of his mouth at once!
👉 Nurse Maudlyn 🚽 won’t stop shrieking while still glued to her toilet seat (sealed lips and all!) as the wacky canine-humanoid duo faces danger from every corner: 👹 Urgl’s threats, lurking alien Markmen, and Zig’s sinister lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania.
👉 Nurse Maudlyn’s indifferent heartthrob Doctor Frombilagonga is missing in action—probably busy arranging dinner dates with other women or buying more crypooptocurrency 💸.
👉 Sooperflea pulls out his invention, the Empathy 5000 machine 🤖—a device meant to feel his patients’ pain. But will it uncover what’s really wrong with Zig… or unleash something even stranger? 💥

✨ Expect sci-fi comedy, absurd fantasy, wacky hospital antics, and interdimensional cliffhangers in this surreal adventure through Perswayssick County.

💫 Tune in for interdimensional mayhem, sci-fi parody fun, and laugh-out-loud chaos in this week’s episode of Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy—the bizarre blend of comedy, fantasy, and sci-fi you didn’t know you needed! 🎧✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and drop a comment! 🪐🎧 New episodes every week! 🎧 LISTEN: https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com 🎧

👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more absurd, hilarious adventures through parallel universes! 🌌😂 🎧 Perfect for fans of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python, Rick and Morty, and anyone who likes their comedy extra weird. 

Episode Artwork created by ChatGPT

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

#Comedy #fantasy #SciFi #dogs #dogsofInstagram #Podcast #hitchhikersgalaxyfans #montypythonfans #ParallelUniverse #FunnyAudioDrama #Multiverse #DimensionHopping #WeirdFiction #AudioTheater 

Transcript

Transcript / “Havoc in Holy Krapp’s Hortense Hasenpfeffer Wing” – Episode 214, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang…. 

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ:  As we alternate timelines, we return to that other parallel universe where there is no Nicki—(spoiler alert again: yet). But, all heck has broken out there—Gneeecey’s sudden gas attack has caused Holy Krapp Hospital’s new Gertrude Gruesomewalder Wing to be evacuated….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Phartz] [Hospital Room Ambience]

FLEAGLOSSITTY “FLEA” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Oh, Zig—speakin’ of stinkin’! 

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Caaan’t help it, Fleaglossitty! Took ’em twenny years to bring me up this lousy hospoopital food—that jackass burger didn’t taste right! Proboobably didn’t cook it enough, an’—

SFX: [Fire Alarm] [Sneakers Squeaking]

ORDERLY: Everyone evacuate! Gas leak!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! 

SFX: [Crowd Panic Mixed Group] [Crowd Panic Run] [Police, Ambulance, Fire Engine Sirens] [MonsterLaughReverb] [SuperPowerFlyBy] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Spaceship]

F: Looky up there—above the hospital roof—it’s that monster Urgl, in his flyin’ outhouse!

URGL: My methane sensors have been activated again!

SFX: [Crowd—Oooh]

G: Don’t look at meee, Fleaglossitty!

U: My uncle’s steel skunk is hiding inside a green cardboard credit card. And I will get back my silver gloog. In two weeks. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 

SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb] [SuperPowerFlyBy] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Crowd—Oooh] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Hospital Room Ambience] [Sneakers Squeakin’] [Ambulance Sirens]

F: Zig, I’m getting’ tired jus’ watchin’ ya pace back an’ forth like that!

G: Fleaglossitty, you don’t understaaandicate—I gotta get outta here! I got lotsa important junk to do! The lousy Ig ain’t here—

F: Ya mean Nicki, an’ she ain’t lousy—’

G: Yeah—the lousy Ig, that’s what I said! She ain’t here no more so she ain’t the Grate Gizzy of this here Perswayssick County no more! So, by default, accordin’ to our county constitution’s section BS ninety-five-point-three-an’-a-half, I’m Grate Gizzy again! Gotta do somethin’ ’bout that orange monster Urgl, terrorizatin’ our snitizen’s, flyin’ around in that dopey outhouse. An’—

F: An’ thank Bogelthorpe, he finally flew away—

G: Shaaaddup, Fleaglossitty, I ain’t done! An’ thank Bogelthorpe, he finally flew away! An’ I don’t trust Ebegneeezer, my hideous lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania. He wants to take over—I stinkin’ know it! An’ them alien Markmen are lurkin’ all over the place, more than ever! I gotta get outta here! Now!

F: But, Zig, first we gotta find out what’s wrong wit’cha!

G: Ain’t nuthin’ wrong wit’ me! I’m maaad that’cha brung me here!

F: Calm down, Zig, have some of this here water.

G: It says “putrefied” on that bottle! 

F: No, Zig, it says “purified”! 

G: Still ain’t drinkin’ it—it’s proboobably that cheap stuff! I know—I’m the expert when it comes to cheap!

F: For Bogelthorpe’s sake, Zig—

G: I’ll bet’cha that cheap H-two-O in that bottle there ain’t even really got no extra two, neitherwise!

F [mumbles to himself]: Lemme see if I can change the subject here…y’know, redirect him….

G: Stinkin’ heard ya, Fleaglossitty—you’re trynna fool me! Y’know, by talkin’ in front of in back of my back! 

F: Uh, Zig, ain’t it nice that before they left, Doctor Idnas an’ Grandma were able to get’cha transferred here into Holy Krapp’s beaudiful new Hortense Hasenpfeffer Wing?

G: Yeah, Fleaglossitty, I guess it was kinda nice of Doctor Idnas an’ Graaandma to do that. I guess they really dooo care ’bout me. An’ I know that yooou really care ’bout me, too, don’cha?

G: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! 

F: See, Zig somethin’ is wrong wit’ ya—real wrong wit’ ya! You’re talkin’ over yourself again!

NM: Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! 

G: An’ sheee’s stinkin’ here, too—that lousy, rotten Nurse Maudlyn! Why is sheee still here? Why ain’t that weirdo cucumber-head Doctor Frombilagonga come to shut her up yet? 

NM: Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! 

F: Her boyfriend’s probably too busy cheatin’ on her! Ha, ha, ha!

G: An’ he’s proboobably too busy buyin’ more of that crypooptocurrency, too!

NM: Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! 

G: Y’know, nobody ain’t checked on her since we been here. She proboobably ain’t very comfoofortable still bein’ glued to that there terlit, an’ perhaphoops she’s hungry, y’know, wit’ her mouth still sealed shut wit’ that glue we thought was Sloggenberry syrup when, y’know, back at the house, we poured it on the food we brung her by mistake?

G: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! 

F: Okay, Zig, that does it! Somethin’ is real, real wrong wit’cha. 

G: I said, no, it ain’t! 

F: Well, I jus’ got me an idea!

G: Yeah, I think I smell wood burnin’. What’s that little clear box you’re takin’ outta your pocket?

F: I told ya ’bout this before. It’s the Empathy 5000 machine I invented in my spare time. Y’know, as an aspiring chiropractor, I wanted to create a device that would make it possible for me to feel my patients’ pain so I could help ’em better.

G: Oh, yeah, I stinkin’ remember. First of all, who wants to feel someone else’s lousy pain? That’s kinda nuts! An’ second, but perhaphoops first, I do rekookalect ya tellin’ me your dopey Empoopathy concraption don’t work propooperly.

F: It didn’t back then, but I fixed them bugs in the design. Now, I shoulda thought of this before, but wit’ all this crazy stuff goin’ on, I didn’t. I can use this to find out what’s wrong wit’ you!

G: So, ya think ya can help me wit’ that little clear box there in your hand?

F: Yep! Watch what happens when I press this little button here. 

SFX: [Electronic Button] [TwistPop]

G: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe—it just grew into the size of a small shower stall—y’know, that fits only one person! An open glaaass shower stall wit’ a slot on the side!

F: I will go inside it. SFX: [Sneakers Squeakin’] Now, you come over here an’ jus’ slip your hand into that there slot.

G: Are ya sure it’s safe, Fleaglossitty? I don’t wanna damage my fine sturgical haaands.

F: Would I do anything to hurt ya, Zig, my best friend since childhood, back on our Planet Eccchs? Here, put your hand in right there.

G: Okay.

SFX: [Intarface2] [Sci-Fi-Laser]

G: That was real silly of me to think you would do anything to hurt me. We been best friends for-stinkin’-ever an’ you’re really such a nice guy, an’ I’m sorry I said all that baaad junk, an’—

G: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! 

F: Don’t worry, Zig, I know ya didn’t mean none of that mean junk ya always say about me. You’re always gonna be my best friend, here in this dimension of Perswayssick County, an’ back on Planet Eccchs, if we ever get there again, an’—

F: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! 

G: Fleaglossitty!

SFX: [Explosion] [SuperpowerFlyBy]

NM: Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! 

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Terror, Tension]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Next week, we return to that alternate, simultaneous timeline where, due to Gneeecey’s trickery, Nicki Rodriguez has unwittingly dimension-jumped back to Perswayssick County—way too soon after her first time—and finds herself stranded there indefinitely. Afflicted with a severe case of dimension burn, she finds herself having to live with Gneeecey in his mansion, and work for him, too. She’s on her way to work this particular morning…. Hope to see you next week!

SFX: [Magic Spell] 

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###