Outhouse Under Fire: The Battle Above 666 Van Pooop Lane

“Outhouse Under Fire: The Battle Above 666 Van Pooop Lane,” Episode 208, Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy, by Vicki Solá

🚨Hold on to your plungers! In this laugh-loaded episode of Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy, we return to the madness at 666 Van Pooop Lane, where evil fugitive Nurse Maudlyn is still glued to her toilet 🚽 and shrieking like a broken alarm clock! 🤯

Meanwhile, her mischievous captor-turned-hostage, the gaseous Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey 🐶, is spiraling into delirium—haunted by memories of Earthling DJ Nicki Rodriguez 🎙️ and plagued by a mysterious second voice coming from his mouth! 🗣️🗣️

Up above? 😱 Superhero Sooperflea (“Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge) has been abducted and imprisoned inside Urgl’s monstrous flying outhouse 🚽✈️! The evil orange tyrant from Opposite Earth demands the elusive silver gloog—and things get real weird, real fast. 🤺🧪

Just when all hope seems lost, Gneeecey lets one rip in Nurse Maudlyn’s fireplace 💨🔥—and somehow triggers an emergency rescue! Enter Detective Clover Arlo Cookie, PI, his sun conure parrot assistant Conrad, a suspicious crowd of reporters 🎥📸, and a chaotic showdown involving a SWAT Squad and a UFO—a flying outhouse that just won’t quit.

Will Flea survive being expelled midair?
Will Gneeecey’s fart go down in heroic history?

👽✨ Tune in for outrageous sci-fi chaos, cartoonish fantasy, and gut-busting comedy in this interdimensional adventure packed with:
 ✅ Spacefaring toilets
 ✅ Glue-based cuisine
 ✅ Talking dogs with multiple voices
 ✅ And one very, very famous bathroom criminal

🎙️ Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy – Where logic takes a coffee break and chaos flushes the rules!🔔 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weird, hilarious, and unpredictable episodes from our Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy fantasy/sci-fi comedy podcast series! ✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and drop a comment! 🪐🎧 New episodes every week! 🎧 LISTEN: https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com 🎧

Episode Artwork created by ChatGPT

#Comedy #fantasy #SciFi #dogs #dogsofInstagram #Podcast #hitchhikersgalaxyfans #montypythonfans #ParallelUniverse #FunnyAudioDrama #Multiverse #DimensionHopping #WeirdFiction #AudioTheater 

We hope you enjoye

Transcript

Transcript / Outhouse Under Fire: The Battle Above 666 Van Pooop Lane – Episode 208, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang…. 

SFX: [Magic Spell] [She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: This week, we return to that other parallel universe, and Nurse Maudlyn’s infamous 666 Van Pooop Lane home. The evil woman sits helpless, glued to her toilet by her two mischievous canine-humanoid hostages—Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, also known as Sooperflea, and Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey. Speaking of Flea, he’s been abducted, whisked out of Nurse Maudlyn’s second-story window, and sucked up into Opposite Earth’s monstrous leader Urgl’s flying outhouse.

Meanwhile, an utterly shaken Gneeecey has found himself alone—mostly alone, that is, save for the shrieking, toilet-flushing Nurse Maudlyn.

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!  SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

Gneeecey doesn’t know what he’s gonna do. He does decide that action is necessary, so he takes a nap. He dreams of missing Earthling Nicki Rodriguez, then awakens with a start.

SFX: [CartoonSnoring]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: What the—don’t know why I keep havin’ dreams ’bout when the Ig when she arrived here in Perswayssick County for the second time…’cause I snuck back an’ tricked her into comin’ back. An’ now she’s gone—I might never see her again. Geewhizzicles, I was really rotten to her back in them early days. I hope I’m a better canine-humanoid, now. Unlike back then, now I think of Nicki like bein’ family. I actually kinda miss her…. An’ I guess I ain’t been treatin’ Fleaglossitty too good neitherwise…maybe I gotta try harder to be nicer. 

G: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la!

G: What the—why were two stinkin’ voices comin’ outta my mouth at the same time jus’ then?

SFX: [Rumbling Stomach]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: The situation continues to deteriorate when Gneeecey, completely cut off from his outside world, trudges in to Nurse Maudlyn’s kitchen in search of something, anything to eat—possibly even a tasty wooden cabinet door. There, he realizes that he and Flea had accidentally poured glue onto a meal they’d brought upstairs to Nurse Maudlyn, having mistaken it for Sloggenberry syrup. When, uncharacteristically, Gneeecey expresses concern for his captor, stating that he doesn’t want to be responsible for “unaliving her,” and recalls remedies that might unglue her mouth, that second voice spurts out of his snout again….

G: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! What the—why were two stinkin’ voices comin’ outta my mouth at the same time again? Somethin’s real, real, real wrong wit’ me!

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, things ain’t goin’ so well for poor Flea, trapped inside that flying outhouse piloted by the orange monster….

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Up in the skies above….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Terror, Tension]

URGL: SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb]

FLEAGLOSSITTY “FLEA” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”:  Lemme go, ya orange monster! Whaddaya want from me? What can I, a humble superhero who always minds his own business, possibly have that you want? 

U: I want the silver gloog! 

F: Awready told ya, I ain’t got it! Now, lemme outta your flyin’ outhouse!

U: My sensors indicate its presence on your body. I will fight you for it!

F: Oh, yeah? I dare ya, chump—get offa your golden terlit there an’ throw the first punch!

U: My blue kangaroo will eat your red firetruck—in two weeks!

SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb] [FightFist]

F: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Terror, Tension][She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: And, back on the ground….

SFX: [Rumbling in Stomach]

G: Stomach’s so empty, I feel a gas attack comin’ on…. Might as well do like Fleaglossitty suggesticated, an’ let loose in the ol’ battle axe’s fireplace. Maybe some of it’ll go up the chimney an’ be noticed by the outside world. Even if I end up gettin’ a ticket for pollution, it’ll be worth it if it saves me. Here goes…. This one’s for yooou, Fleaglossitty, wherever ya stinkin’ are! 

SFX: [Phartz] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’]

G: What in Bogelthorpe’s name is thaaat? Sounds like some real scary unidentificated flyin’ object is flyin’ ’round an’ ’round, right overhead—in circles, like wit’ centrifoofical force! Haaaalp! Haaaalp!

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’] [Helicopter] [Police Sirens] [Fire Engine Sirens] [Ambulance Sirens]

G: What in Bogelthorpe’s stinkin’ name’s goin’ on out there—sounds like the whole lousy world’s comin’ to an end!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

G: Time to take action! Gotta do somethin’—now! Gotta take charge here! I think I’ll go hide in my man cave!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking][Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’] [Helicopter] [Police Sirens] [Fire Engine Sirens] [Bang] [DoorLockUnlock] [Wood Demolition] [Door Open] [Bird, Sun Conure]

G: What the stinkin—sounds like someone busted the door down!

SFX: [Mud Drops] 

G: Uh-oh—jus’ turned my sneaker laces yellow again!

CLOVER ARLO COOKIE, PI: Diroctor Gneeecey! Sooperflea! It’s me, Detective Clover!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] 

G: My gas signal musta worked! Don’t gimme a ticket for pollution—pleeeeeze!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!  SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

CAC, PI: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! What in creation is that?

G: Heh, heh…. It’s rotten Nurse Maudlyn!

CAC, PI: We’ve been lookin’ for her—since she busted out of prison, right, Conrad?

CONRAD:SFX:[Bird, Sun Conure]

CAC, PI: We’re finally gonna take her in. 

G: She’s uh, glued to her terlit up there in the bathroom, an’, uh…heh, heh, her big yapper seems to be glued shut, too!

CAC, PI: C’mon, Conrad, let’s go up an’ take a look.

C:SFX:[Bird, Sun Conure] 

SFX: [HumanWalkUpstairs] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’] [Sneakers Squeaking]

OFFICER 1: We’re gonna hafta somehow immobilize that flyin’ outhouse—or whatever it is, out there! SWAT Squad’s on the way!

OFFICER 2: Yeah, Sarge! Ain’t never seen nuthin’ like this—

G: But—but—Fleaglossitty’s in there—he’s bein’ held hostage by Urgl, the evil all-powerful lousy leader of Opposite Earth!

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, up in the sky above Nurse Maudlyn’s roof….

F: Why do we keep flyin’ ’round in all these weird circles?

U: My methane sensors are going crazy—they’re interfering with the navigation of my outhouse! We’re caught up in an uncontrollable elliptical orbit! Sensors are picking up a strong scent! It must be yooou!

F: No it ain’t! 

U: I must expel you! Immediately!

F: From so high up in the air? I—I ain’t that sure of my superhero flyin’ abilities! 

U: You’ve gotta go, but you haven’t seen the last of me! My granulated stomach will drink your green grandmother’s glass brain! In two weeks! Out ya go! SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb]

F: Noooooooooo!

SFX: [A Car Crashing] [Explosion] [Wood Demolition] 

F: Ow!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] 

G: Fleaglossitty! 

F: Who were ya expectin’? Santa Claus? 

G: Great news, Fleaglossitty! I got superpowers, too! Me, y’know, passin’ gas in the fireplace like ya suggesticated, it stinkin’ worked! 

F: Yeah, it stinkin’ worked awright.

G: Well, don’t say it like thaaat, so oogdimonious! I made help arrive!

F: By the way, Zig, your sneaker laces are yellow. Again.

G: Shaaadup!

SFX: [HumanWalkDownStairs] [Bird, Sun Conure]

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!  

G: Looky! Detective Clover an’ them cops are carryin’ the ol’ gasbag down them stairs, an’ they musta ripped the terlit outta the floor! She’s still sittin’ on it!

CAC, PI: All in a day’s work, guys. All in a day’s work. Ol’ fugitive Maudlyn here’s a real escape artist, but she sure couldn’t escape from this commode. 

SFX: [Bird, Sun Conure]

G: An’ her big ol’ mouth seems to somehow be glued shut, too…heh, heh, heh….

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

CAC, PI: We’re gonna transport her to the hospital to be checked out, before she goes back to prison, right, guys?

OFFICER 1 & OFFICER 2 [in unison]: Yeah! 

OFFICER 1: Either Florence Ferguson Memorial or Holy Krapp.

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

CAC, PI: I hear this Doctor Frombilagonga works at both hospitals, an’ he specializes in treating bizarre cases like this!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

G: She’s in love wit’ Doctor Frrombilagonga, but he can’t staaand her! I’m sure he’ll take real, real good care of the ol’ gas bag! Heh hah, heh haah, heh haaah!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

CAC, PI: C’mon, guys! Let’s bring her out! Ambulance is across the street.

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’] [Helicopter] [Police Sirens] [Fire Engine Sirens]

SFX: [Crowd] [Audience Laughing] 

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!  Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

F: Looky at all them reporters an’ them TV cameras aimed at the door here!

G: Well, the ol’ gas bag always wanted to be famous! Now, she is!

F & G [in unison]: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

NURSE MAUDLYN: Aaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!

G: An’ Fleaglossitty, I’m so sorry I been so stinkin’ rotten to ya. Ain’t like me to make no apologies, but I guess I should say I’m sorry, an’ I’m gonna try an’ be a better canine-humanoid.

G: [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me!

F: Zig! Ya got two voices comin’ outta your mouth at once! You gotta go to the hospital, too!

G: Noooooooooooo! Ain’t goin’ to no hospoopital! An’ don’choo stinkin’ dare tell no one ’bout this!

F: Zig, you’re talkin’ real funny! Ya gotta get checked out—ya got another speech impediment!

G: I do not got another speech impedipoodiment!

OFFICER 3: SWAT Squad’s here—everyone out! Now! Clear the area—now! 

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’] [Helicopter] [Police Sirens] [Fire Engine Sirens]

OFFICER 3: Back, everyone! Back—across the street! Right now!

F: Looky, Zig, they’re aimin’ at them wings on that flyin’ outhouse, to try an’ bring it down, but it’s still circlin’ round the ol’ battle axe’s chimney!

G: I did a stinkin’ good job, didn’t I? Y’know, havin’ my gaaas attack in the fireplace?

SFX: [AutoMachine] [AutoMachine2] [Crowd]

F: It ain’t doin’ nuthin’! That outhouse ain’t comin’ down!

G: I really don’t stinkin’ think it’s proboobably a good idea to make Urgl more maaad!

SFX: [AutoMachine] [AutoMachine] [MonsterLaughReverb] [SuperPowerFlyBy] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Crowd] 

F: He got away! Urgl got away! An’ from what he said, we ain’t seen the last of him!

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Terror, Tension]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Next week, we return to that alternate, simultaneous timeline where, due to Gneeecey’s trickery, Nicki Rodriguez has unwittingly dimension-jumped back to Perswayssick County—way too soon after her first time—and finds herself stranded there indefinitely. Afflicted with a severe case of dimension burn, she finds herself having to live with Gneeecey in his mansion, and work for him, too. And she’s determined to find her cash-filled maroon portfolio case which she believes the naughty canine-humanoid has hidden. Gneeecey has just given her a tour of his mansion, and she’s about to spend her first night there.

SFX: [Boxed In, Latin]

Love what you heard? Then pass the weirdness on!

If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or question reality, tell one friend. Not just any friend—but someone weird enough to appreciate a superhero dog, a villain in a flying outhouse, or a canine-humanoid self-proclaimed “business maggot” whose mansion is surrounded by acres of plaid grass. 

Sharing Perswayssick Radio helps us keep making this beautiful nonsense every week—and it’s the best way to support the show.

So zap a link to your favorite episode to your favorite weirdo. And thanks for keeping the Perswayssick spirit alive!

SFX: [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###