My Blue Kangaroo Will Eat Your Red Firetruck

“My Blue Kangaroo Will Eat Your Red Firetruck,” Episode 206

🚽Welcome back to that other dimension—where chaos is king and common sense has taken a long vacation. In this laugh-loaded sci-fi/fantasy/comedy podcast episode, we return to evil Nurse Maudlyn’s house of horrors at 666 Van Pooop Lane, where she’s still glued to her toilet (don’t ask) thanks to her canine-humanoid hostages, Sooperflea and Gneeecey.

With no food, no power, no Wi-Fi, and no Nicki Rodriguez (she's lost in that other timeline), Gneeecey’s cracking. Literally. And just when Sooperflea had dared to escape through a broken window—BOOM! A flying outhouse descended, piloted by none other than gibberish-spouting Opposite Earth tyrant Urgl, who sucked Sooperflea into the sky!

Now locked in with a glued-down villain and a rumbling stomach, Gneeecey must battle loneliness, regret, and maybe even his own conscience (which has started arguing with itself out loud). Can he survive on expired snacks and hope? Is help coming? Is he hallucinating two voices? And what exactly is the Silver Gloog?

Meanwhile, Sooperflea faces bizarre intergalactic combat aboard Urgl’s flying outhouse, complete with golden toilet. And back on Earth, Nicki’s being dragged into more cosmic nonsense, thanks to Gneeecey’s meddling.

Will anybody survive? Or just explode in a fiery cloud of glue, guilt, and Rindom Doodles?

🌀 Tune in for dimension-hopping mayhem, alien bathroom warfare, weird dreams, and emotionally constipated superheroes in this absurd, high-energy episode of Perswayssick Radio!

🔔 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weird, hilarious, and unpredictable episodes from our Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy fantasy/sci-fi comedy podcast series! ✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and drop a comment! 🪐🎧 New episodes every week! 🎧 LISTEN: https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com 🎧

Episode Artwork created by ChatGPT

#Comedy #fantasy #SciFi #dogs #dogsofInstagram #Podcast #hitchhikersgalaxyfans #ParallelUniverse #FunnyAudioDrama #Multiverse #DimensionHopping #WeirdFiction #AudioTheater 

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Car

Transcript

Transcript / My Blue Kangaroo Will Eat Your Red Firetruck – Episode 206, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang…. 

SFX: [Magic Spell] [She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: This week, we return to that other parallel universe, and Nurse Maudlyn’s infamous 666 Van Pooop Lane home. The evil woman sits helpless, glued to her toilet by her two mischievous canine-humanoid hostages—Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, also known as Sooperflea, and Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey. 

Gneeecey and Flea have found themselves trapped in Nurse Maudlyn’s home with no food, no phones, no Wi-Fi, no electricity, and no Nicki Rodriguez. Their friend had merged with another version of herself, in another dimension. 

Just when hapless superhero Flea finally summons the courage to try and fly himself and Gneeecey to freedom through a shattered second-story window…disaster strikes! Who should appear but the gibberish-spewing tyrant of Opposite Earth, Urgl!

FLEAGLOSSITTY “FLEA” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe—there’s Urgl, up there in the sky, ridin’ in his flyin’ outhouse!

SFX: [Magical Twinkle Tone] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Terror, Tension] [MonsterLaughReverb]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: It’s stinkin’ him awright—the fuzzy orange monster sittin’ on his golden terlit! How did he get here to our lousy dimension?

SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb]

URGL: An irritable typewriter wearing a red dress is eating dessert! 

G: An’ as usual, nothin’ he says makes any stinkin’ sense!

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [MonsterLaughReverb] [SuperPowerFlyBy] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Magical Twinkle Tone]  

G: Fleaglossitty? Fleaglossitty! Halp! That monster jus’ sucked Fleaglossitty out this here window an’ up into his flyin’ outhouse! Halp! Stinkin’ halp! Fleaglossitty—come back! 

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [She Calls You]

G: What am I stinkin’ gonna do, now? I didn’t really mean I didn’t never wanna see Fleaglossitty never again when we were havin’ that stooopid fight! I know I’m powerful, but I certaintaneously didn’t stinkin’ mean to wish him away! Me an’ him, we been best friends since we were kids, back on our Planet Eccchs!

NURSE MAUDLYN: AAAAAAH!  SFX: [Flushing Toilet] 

G: I’m gonna go in that bathroom right now an’ straighten her out! [SFX: Sneakers Squeaking] [Door Open] Shaaaaddup, ya ol’ gas bag—this is all your lousy fault!

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] 

G: An’ looky—ya didn’t even touch the beaudifully cooked lousy food me an’ Fleaglossitty brung ya. You’re big bimbus is still glued to your terlit, but it’s almost like your dopey mouth’s been glued shut, too….

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

G: Well, I gotta relieve myself, an’ since you’re stuck to the only porcelain throne in this whole house, I’m gonna go back in your room an’ use your comfortable at-home shoes again.

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

SFX: [Flushing Toilet] [Door Slam] [Sneakers Squeaking] [Mud Drops]

G: That’s a relief. Now, lemme go downstairs to our man cave behind them dopey livin’ room walls…. Don’t know what I’m stinkin’ gonna dooo…gotta siddown an’ think awhile….

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkDownstairs] [Sneakers Squeaking] 

G: This here lousy man cave is so empty an' creepy wit’out Fleaglossitty…. These are proboobably the worst circkookumstantial circkookumstances I’ve ever hadda face since us Planet Eccchsers been straaanded in this dimension of Perswayssick County…. Now, Fleaglossitty’s gone an’ I’m here all alone, locked up in this lousy house. An’ the ol’ gas bag didn’t pay her bills, so there ain’t no electricity, Wi-Fi, or workin’ phones in this dump, neitherwise. Jus’ about no food left, either. Might hafta start eatin’ some of the furniture to keep from starvin’ to death! I don’t think no one’s comin’ to save me this time! So, I gotta dooo somethin’! Gotta take action! I think I’ll take a nap!

SFX: [Cartoon Snoring] [Misgivings& Misfortune] [Car Engine]

G: Now, as I was sayin’ before bein’ so rudely interrupticated, the Ig here owes me, an’ she’ll stay as long as it takes her to—

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: As long as it takes me to find my portfolio.

G: How dare ya? I’m talkin’ at Flea! The Ig here will stay at my place—

N: Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I’m not staying anywhere—you’re giving back my portfolio case, then I’m history.

G: Nope. You’re stayin’ wit’ meee.

N: Oh, not at your dog’s condo?

G: Don’t get intelligent wit’ meee. You’re gonna stay where I can watch ya. An’ you’re gonna work till ya pay off every cent ya owe me.

N: Oh, really?

G: You’re comin’ to the office wit’ me every day, plus you’ll help out at the restaurant. An’ ya ain’t stealin’ no more menus. Thought I wouldn’t notice, huh, Ig?

N: Uh…I’m sorry. I did take one. I thought it would be, y’know, a cool souvenir.

G: Ya want souvoovenirs? You’ll have plenny of them when I get through wit’cha!

N: When I get home—after you’ve returned my portfolio—I promise I’ll mail back your menu—

G: Ya ain’t goin’ nowheres. Not till I say ya is.

SFX: [Cartoon Snoring] [She Calls You]

G: What the—don’t know why I keep havin’ dreams ’bout when the Ig when she arrived here in Perswayssick County for the second time…’cause I snuck back an’ tricked her into comin’ back. An’ now she’s gone—I might never see her again. Geewhizzicles, I was really rotten to her back in them early days. I hope I’m a better canine-humanoid, now. Unlike back then, now I think of Nicki like bein’ family. I actually kinda miss her…. An’ I guess I ain’t been treatin’ Fleaglossitty too good neitherwise…maybe I gotta try harder to be nicer. 

G [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la!

G: What the—why were two stinkin’ voices comin’ outta my mouth at the same time jus’ then?

SFX: [Rumbling in Stomach]

G: Uh-oh! That’s my stomach callin’ me to let me know I’m starvin’! Lemme go into the lousy kitchen before it gets dark an’ see if I can find anything to stinkin’ eat!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! 

G: There she goes again—the ol’ gas bag. She’s proboobably hungry too….

NM: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!  

G: The ol' gas bag....

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]

G: Lessee…that cabinet door looks tasty…an’ so does that table leg…. Oh, looky, half a snack bag of Rindom Doodles. Don’t know how old they are, but beggars can’t be choosers…

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!  SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] 

G: Oh, looky on the counter there…. A bottle of glue. Me an’ Fleaglossitty were in such a hurry, I think we proboobably mighta poured it on her food one night, mistakin’ it for syrup. Looks jus’ like Sloggenberry syrup…. 

NM: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

G: So, that would proboobably explain why she sounds like her mouth is glued shut—it is litooterally glued shut! I’m gonna hafta come up wit’ some concockooction to unglue her big trap…. If I remember propooperly from my days in medikookal school, back on Planet Eccchs, oil can help get ridda glue. Ah, here’s some Rindom oil…an’ some slug nut butter. An’ I’ll throw in some of this here fermented Slog ’cause it’s an alckookoholic beverage. I remember, alkookohol is useful for ungluin’ junk.  As rotten as I been, I can’t let her, y’know, stinkin’ starve to death…. Don’t wanna be responsibooble for unalivin’ her…. Guess I have been kinda mean to lotsa people….

G [a second voice coming out of his mouth, simultaneously]: La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me ! La, la, la, I can’t hear me! La, la, la, I can’t hear me!

G: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! What the—why were two stinkin’ voices comin’ outta my mouth at the same time again? Somethin’s real, real, real wrong wit’ me!

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Terror, Tension]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, up in the skies above….

U: SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb]

F: Lemme go, ya orange monster! Whaddaya want from me? What can I, a humble superhero who always minds his own business, possibly have that you want? 

U: I want the silver gloog! 

F: Awready told ya, I ain’t got it! Now, lemme outta your flyin’ outhouse!

U: My sensors indicate its presence on your body. I will fight you for it!

F: Oh, yeah? I dare ya, chump—get offa your golden terlit there an’ throw the first punch!

U: My blue kangaroo will eat your red firetruck—in two weeks!

SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb] [FightFist]

F: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: And, back on the ground….

SFX: [Rumbling in Stomach]

G: Stomach’s so empty, I feel a gas attack comin’ on…. Might as well do like Fleaglossitty suggesticated, an’ let loose in the ol’ battle axe’s fireplace. Maybe some of it’ll go up the chimney an’ be noticed by the outside world. Even if I end up gettin’ a ticket for pollution, it’ll be worth it if it saves me. Here goes…. This one’s for yooou, Fleaglossitty, wherever ya stinkin’ are! 

SFX: [Phartz] [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’]

G: What in Bogelthorpe’s name is thaaat? Sounds like some real scary unidentificated flyin’ object is flyin’ ’round an’ ’round, right overhead—in circles, like wit’ centrifoofical force! Haaaalp! Haaaalp!

SFX: [Sci Spaceship Resonant] [Sci Spaceship Engine] [Sci Spaceship Flyin’]  [Terror, Tension] 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Next week, we return to that alternate, simultaneous timeline where, due to Gneeecey’s trickery, Nicki Rodriguez has unwittingly dimension-jumped back to Perswayssick County—way too soon after her first time—and she finds herself stranded there indefinitely. Afflicted with a severe case of dimension burn, she may not survive another jump anytime soon. 

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###