An Irritable Typewriter Wearing a Red Dress Is Eating Dessert

“An Irritable Typewriter Wearing a Red Dress Is Eating Dessert,” Episode 204

🚽Welcome back to the chaotic alternate dimension of Perswayssick County, where disaster is always just a flush away!

In this laugh-out-loud episode, “An Irritable Typewriter Wearing a Red Dress Is Eating Dessert,” self-proclaimed genius and elbow-high canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey and his reluctant superhero sidekick, Fleaglossitty “Sooperflea” Floppinsplodge, have already glued their shrieking captor Nurse Maudlyn to her own toilet. But their “brilliant” escape plan? It crash-lands—literally, straight into a recycling bin. Oh, and let’s not forget a sautéed dinner made from random household objects. 🧼🍴And the lights went out suddenly as the duo were carrying this culinary masterpiece up to their captor—plunging them into blackness and causing them to tumble down a whole flight of stairs.

Now locked inside the house with no food, no electricity, no Wi-Fi, no working phones, and zero clue, the bickering duo faces darkness, endless shrieking punctuated by toilet flushing, and an unexpected visit from a flying outhouse piloted by fuzzy orange monster Urgl. 💥

Can Sooperflea rediscover his superpowers? Will Gneeecey stop undermining literally everyone? Will Nurse Maudlyn ever stop screaming? Or flushing? And what does it really mean when a talking typewriter in a red dress eats dessert mid-air?

Things are spiraling faster than a cosmic toilet bowl—don’t miss this absurd sci-fi comedy adventure!

🔔 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weird, hilarious, and unpredictable episodes from our Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy fantasy/sci-fi comedy podcast series! ✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and drop a comment! 🪐🎧 New episodes every week! 🎧 LISTEN: https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com 🎧

Episode Artwork created by ChatBoxAI

#Comedy #fantasy # SciFi #dogs #dogsofInstagram #Podcast #hitchhikersgalaxyfans #ParallelUniverse #FunnyAudioDrama #Multiverse #DimensionHopping #WeirdFiction #AudioTheater 

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members throu

Transcript

Transcript / An Irritable Typewriter Wearing a Red Dress Is Eating Dessert – Episode 204, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang…. 

SFX: [Magic Spell] [She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In Episode 201, “Trapped, Zapped & Glued,” we return to that alternate dimension where elbow-high, self-proclaimed genius, Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, and his reluctant superhero sidekick, Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge—better known (sometimes regrettably) as Sooperflea—have glued their villainous captor, the ever-shrieking Nurse Maudlyn, to her own toilet.

Their grand escape plan? Let’s just say it crash-landed. Literally. Right into a huge recycling bin.

Flea’s already-fragile confidence—shredded by Gneeecey’s nonstop nagging—fails him at the worst moment, and his attempt to fly them both out through a high kitchen window flops. Now stranded in Nurse Maudlyn’s home with no food, no phones, no Wi-Fi, and zero dignity, the duo must survive each other.

As Gneeecey doubles down on his self-declared brilliance and Flea slips into an identity crisis, tensions rise, friendship frays—and the lights suddenly go out. The two tumble down the stairs, dinner in hand: a smoking, sautéed medley of household items they’d hoped would pacify their furious host. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkUpstairs]

FLEAGLOSSITTY “FLEA” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Hey—what the—we’re in the dark! 

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Stinkin’ lights all jus’ went out! She musta not paid her utility bill either—

G & F [in unison]: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

SFX: [BodyHumanFall] [Sneakers Squeaking] [Passing Swoosh Exploding] [Metal Crash] [Crash Metal] [Bang] [CanTinBag] [CanMetalTin] [GlassShatter] [GlassDebris] [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn] [CanTin] [Splash Water 5]

G & F [in unison]: Ow—my bimbus!

NURSE MAUDLYN: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

F: An’ listen to the ol’ gas bag up there! She’s flushin’ the terlit between screams! Wonder what that means, Zig?

G: Do I always gotta stinkin’ spell it out for ya, Fleaglossitty? She’s flushin’ for attention. Her demaaaands are eskookalatin’! It’s like the flushin’ terlit is punctuatin’ her words, if ya can even call ’em words. Even meee, wit’ my great expoopertise, y’know, bein’ a senior trader at the Alphabet Exchange down on ZugZwang Street, even I can’t tell where one vowel ends an’ the next one begins!

F: It’s ridiculous.

G: Totally deeericulous.

F: I’m glad we can at least agree on one thing, Zig. Now, what are we gonna do? We got so many problems, where do we start? One problem don’t end before we get a bunch more. An’ each of them new problems brings on more new problems before we can solve all the old ones we awready got. When an’ where does it all end? 

G: Ain’t got time to get all phila fool o sophi kookal here, Fleaglossity. We must take immediate action! Don’t complain—stinkin’ dooo somethin’!

F: Well, Zig, what do ya suggest, then? 

G: That we jus’ go to sleep right here where we landed, at the bottom of these lousy stairs.

F: You call that takin’ action? Jus’ goin’ to sleep?

G: Yeah, Fleaglossitty. As I fully analyzate these circkookumstantial circkookumstances, I reckookomend that we don’t risk movin’ around in the total darkness here an’ further risk breakin’ our lousy bimbuses. Mine still hurts….

NM: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

F: Maybe you can sleep wit’ that ol’ battle axe screamin’ and flushin’, but I can’t!

G: Ya certaintaneously can, Fleaglossitty, if you’re really tired enough.

F: Lemme see if my utility flashlight on my superhero belt here works. I shoulda thought of that sooner. 

G: That’s one of your problems, Fleaglossitty. Ya think of junk later than sooner, which proves even your superhero ESP ain’t workin’ propooperly. If it did, ya would think of junk before it happens, certaintaneously not after. Geeewhizzicles….

F: Okay. Lemme try my trusty flashlight here. SFX: [Metal Click 4] Battery must be dead….

G: Well, congratulizations, Fleaglossitty! I rest my case! Thanks to you, we’ll hafta wait till daylight to do anything!

F: Stop always tryin’ to undermine my confidence, Zig. I never shoulda even come here to try an’ save ya. Like I said before, this whole Perswayssick County is fallin’ apart an’ Nicki’s gone, maybe forever, an’ I deserted Professor Wallbang an’ our Perswayssick Superhero Academy students an’ lost a chance of a real important, well-payin’ teachin’ position there, ’cause of you! An’ you should be scared—we saw on TV, your HyenaZitania lookalike Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay says he’s taken over, in your place, an’ Nicki’s, an’ Doctor Idnas an’ Grandma are so upset, an’ that strange, menacin’ Dorothy is back in the picture, an’ you know how weak that Basset Hound Jacob J. Qwertyuiop is! He can’t run the county, an’ Detective Clover the Beagle an’ Conrad the bird are never gonna find us, an’—

G [while Flea is talking]:La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you. La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! 

G: [finally cuts Flea off]: Now stinkin’ shaaaddup an’ go to sleep! Hmmm…. Ol’ gasbag upstairs musta finally fell asleep. I don’t hear no more noise comin’ from her or her lousy terlit.

F: Okay, Zig, I am goin’ to sleep…’cause that’s my only way of gettin’ away from you. 

G: Y’know, Fleaglossitty, I’d be real, real hapoopy if I never had to see ya ever again.

F: Right back at’cha, Zig. Right back at’cha….

SFX: [Cartoon Snoring]

G: Fleaglossitty, wake up!

F: Whaaat?

G: I was thinkin’, y’know, ’bout the Ig, an’ when we first met her…that’s all….

F: I was jus’ dreamin’ ’bout her, back when she arrived here in Perswayssick County, y’know, that second time—after you tricked her into comin’ back here an’ we found her dimension-burned an’ face down on the riverbank, stuck in all that mierk…and I hadda dig Nicki out….

G: Y’know, that’s funny, but I ain’t laughin’. That whole scene was jus’ in my dopey head, like it was all jus’ hapoopenin’ again, right now….

F: An’ now, thanks to you an’ this whole mess ya got us in, we may never see Nicki again.

G: Go back to stinkin’ sleep, Fleaglossitty. Who told ya to wake up an’ start talkin’, anyways? 

SFX: [Cartoon Snoring]

G: Fleaglossitty, wake up!

F: What now, Zig?

G: I was thinkin’—

F: Oh, that’s somethin’ new, ain’t it?

G: Don’choo get snarkastical wit’ meee! I’m worried ’bout my Space Duck! He don’t belong to that Brunhilde! He belongs to meee! I found him on the lousy spaceship! That longhaired dachshund may be priddy, but I don’t trust her. When we get outta this place—

F: If we get outta this place—

G: Stinkin’ whatever, Fleaglossitty. When an’ if such circkookumstantial circkookumstances allow, I’ll hafta contact my attorney, John Smiff, Equestrian, an’ start a custody battle. I want my duck back.

F: Bad night, Zig!

G: Well, ya don’t gotta say it like thaaat, so oogdimonious. Bad night!

SFX: [Cartoon Snoring] [Toy Piano Rockabye] [Stomach Rumbling] [Phartz]

F: What the—oh, Zig!

G: Can’t help it, Fleaglossitty! When my stomach’s empty, I get gaaas!

F: Next time ya gotta do that, go over an’ do it in her fireplace. Maybe it’ll all go up the chimney an’ you’ll attract some help from the outside world, if not a citation for pollution.

G: Why yooou—

NURSE MAUDLYN: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] 

F: Well, it’s daylight, an’ she’s screamin’ an’ flushin’ again. Time to take action. An’ I got me an idea. 

G: An’ what’s thaaat, Fleaglossitty?

F: I’m gonna prove that I ain’t lost all my superhero powers. Remember the ol’ gasbag’s busted bedroom window that I crashed through when I first got here? I’m gonna fly us outta here! I wouldn’t hafta lift us up real high, like wit’ that kitchen window—

G: But it’s a second-story window—you’d hafta keep us from goin’ down too low! We could get seriously kilt!

NURSE MAUDLYN: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] 

F: Well, Zig, can ya think of anythin’ else we can do or should we jus’ stay here an’ starve?

G: Nope.

F: Once we’re outta here, we can call the cops on her, an’ they can take it from there. C’mon!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkUpstairs]

NURSE MAUDLYN: AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] AAAAAAH! SFX: [Flushing Toilet] [Wood Door Slam]

F; There, can’t hear her as good now, thank Bogelthorpe. I can’t be distracted. Now, looky out that there window, Zig. 

G: It’s a long way down, if ya mess up, Fleaglossitty.

F: Thanks.

G: You’re smelcome. What did ya thank me for?

SFX: [Crows]

G: Look at all them black clouds that suddenly shown up, filled wit’ all them white crows—kinda reminds me of when we were stranded back on—

G & F [in unison]: Opposite Earth!

F: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe—there’s Urgl, up there in the sky, ridin’ in his flyin’ outhouse!

SFX: [Magical Twinkle Tone] [Reverse Magical Spell] [MonsterLaughReverb]

G: It’s stinkin’ him awright—the fuzzy orange monster sittin’ on his golden terlit! How did he get here to our lousy dimension?

SFX: [MonsterLaughReverb]

URGL: An irritable typewriter wearing a red dress is eating dessert! 

G: An’ as usual, nothin’ he says makes any stinkin’ sense!

SFX: [Terror, Tension] [MonsterLaughReverb] [SuperPowerFlyBy] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Magical Twinkle Tone]  

G: Fleaglossitty? Fleaglossitty! Halp! That monster jus’ sucked Fleaglossitty out this here window an’ up into his flyin’ outhouse! Halp! Stinkin’ halp! Fleaglossitty—come back! 

SFX: [Terror, Tension] 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Next week, we return to that alternate, simultaneous timeline where, due to Gneeecey’s trickery, Nicki Rodriguez has unwittingly dimension-jumped back to Perswayssick County—way too soon after her first time—and finds herself stranded there indefinitely. Afflicted with a severe case of dimension burn, she may not survive another jump anytime soon. 

SFX: [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###