
Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy
Logic takes a coffee break, and chaos runs the show when stranded Earthling radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez is stuck in the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, ruled by canine-humanoid Zig Gneeecey â an elbow-high, fast-talking, dog-shaped disaster. From catastrophic car rides to alien encounters and tricycle-themed fine dining, every episode is a laugh-out-loud blend of Comedy, Sci-Fi, and Fantasy with a side of absurdity.
If you love zany characters, weird worlds, and hilarious, unpredictable adventures, youâre in the right place. And it's a one-woman show! When author/radio personality Vicki SolĂĄ breathes life into her characters â PC's extraterrestrial madcap inhabitants â the fun and laughs begin! Perswayssick â it's spelled with two S's because it's twice as sick!
đ New episodes drop regularly â subscribe now and buckle up. Gneeeceyâs driving, and thatâs never a good thing.
Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy
Vanishing Escape!
Vicki here, I'd love to hear from you! Click here to send me a message!
đ¨âVanishing Escape!âđ¨ Ep.195
đ In this thrilling episode of the Sooperflea & Gneeecey podcast, chaos reigns as the canine-humanoid duo vanishes from Nurse Maudlyn's grasp using mysterious vanishing cream! Meanwhile, in an alternate reality, earthling Nicki Rodriguez faces her most dangerous mission yet: a perilous jump across dimensions to make it back home. With Sooperfleaâs help, will she survive the journey?
Strap in. Things are about to get weird. Expect wild comedy, interdimensional action, and heart in this sci-fi fantasy adventure with your favorite misfit heroes. đ Listen now and join the chaos: https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com
đ Subscribe for weekly episodes packed with hilarious antics, cosmic twists, and unforgettable characters!
Episode Artwork created by ChatGPT
We hope you enjoyed this weekâs episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal SolĂĄ, Sandi SolĂĄ, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick âEl Molestosoâ Rivera, Diane L., Brunie CariĂąo, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.
https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amountâvarious levels availableâto help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! Weâll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)
https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)
https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki SolĂĄ)
https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!) And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/
Vicki's related comedy/fantasy/sci-fi books, You Can't Unscramble the Omlet and The Getaway That Got Away are available at Amazon!
https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)
It's a one-woman show! Vicki does all the writing, character voices, and audio production!
https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (our Buzzsprout website, episodes, transcripts)
https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (BuyMeACoffee.com page to support this podcast)
https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our books!)
https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki SolĂĄ)
And much thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/
Transcript / Vanishing Escape! â Episode 195, by Vicki SolĂĄ.
All content Š 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.
Music/Intro: Hi there, Iâm author and radio host Vicki SolĂĄ, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gangâŚ.
SFX: [Magic Spell] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLĂ: In our last episode, âWaking Nightmare on Murgatroyd Avenue,â evil Nurse Maudlyn has slipped on her bimbus after her kidnapped hostages, black-furred canine-humanoid Fleaglossitty âFleaâ Floppinsplodge, also known as Sooperflea and his BFF, the white-and-black-furred, high-voiced canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig âZigâ Gneeecey, uh, accidentally relieved themselves on her bedroom floorâŚ.
SFX: [Hiccup] [Comedy Chase] [Sneakers Squeaking]
DIROCTOR BIZZIG âZIGâ GNEEECEY & FLEAGLOSSITTY âFLEAâ FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA âSOOPERFLEAâ [in unison]: Halp! Halp! Halp! Halp!
F: Scatter!
G: Run for your stinkinâ life!
SFX: [Hiccup] [Comedy Chase]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLĂ: The wicked woman is already beyond furious that her very expensive large tube of vanishing cream has been squeezed emptyâŚby guess who?âŚ. How will Gneeecey and Flea get out of this one?
NURSE MAUDLYN: Wait till I get hold of you two dastardly canine-humanoids!
G: Under her lousy bed, now!
F: Okay, Zig!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Cartoon Slip x 2]
NM: I see you two! And youâre gonna be sorrier than sorry when I get hold of you! Ow! My backâitâs lockedâI canât get up!
F: Looky at all this junk she got under her bed here, Zig! HeyâŚdo you see what I see?
G: Yeah, Fleaglossitty! A gigaaantical container of vanishing cream!
F: Quiet, Zigâsheâll hear us!
NM: What are you two dastardly canine-humanoids whispering about? That spasm in my back is letting up, and when it does, youâre both toast!
F: Here, Zig, I opened it! Letâs slather it all over ourselves, even our sneakers!
G: Anâ then we gotta make a run for it!
F: Yeah! Downstairs!
SFX: [Cartoon Slip x 2] [Sneakers Squeaking]
NM: Where are you two? I hear you, but I canât see you!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkDownstairs]
NM: Iâm up, now, and coming after you!
F: Quick, Zig! Letâs see if them mancaves we made behind her drapes the last time we were stuck here, yâknow, inside her walls, are still there!
G: They stinkinâ are! Câmon, Fleaglossitty!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkDownstairs] [HumanBodyFall] [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn]
NM: Yaaaaaaaaah!
SFX: [Cartoon 1] [Hiccup] [Magic Spell] [Misgivings & Misfortune]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLĂ: Meanwhile, the dimension-burned Earthling human Nicki Rodriguez continues to exist in that alternate timeline after having merged accidentally with her double. Finding herself in Perswayssick County seemingly for the first time, she wakes up, disoriented, in Gneeeceyâs pet puppy Oxymoronâs condo. Sheâs exasperated when Sooperflea keeps testing her, trying to determine whether sheâs strong enough to survive a possibly deadly dimension jump back to her own worldâŚ.
NICKI RODRIGUEZ: âCâmon, Fleaâyou promisedââ
âYouâre swayinâ.â
âIâm exhaustedâthatâs why! And thereâs nothing in this here whole county I can eatââ
âYour legs are still weak.â
âPlease, I gotta leaveâtoday!â
âI dunno.â
I fell to my knees. âIâm begging.â First time Iâd ever begged a dog for anythingâŚ.
âStand on one foot again.â
âI feel so stupidâI hope no one can see me.â
âJusâ do it.â He pounded his fist on the table. SFX: [Blow on Table] âIâm responsible for ya. Ya donât wanna end up likeâlikeââ
I crossed my arms. âJulio?â The night before, Gneeecey and Sooperflea had warned me that this fellow human had likely perished because heâd attempted a return home to Earth too soon.
âJusâ do what I say,â growled the usually good-natured Flea. âStand on your right foot. Ready? Go!â He clicked his stopwatch. SFX: [Metal Click 4]
âThere!â I shouted, struggling to maintain my balance for five seconds. âIs that good enough for you? Are you satisfied?â
Flea clipped his timepiece back onto his red utility belt. SFX: [Metal Click 4] âSit.â
First time ever a dog had ordered me to sit. I lowered myself and tumbled backward into one of the living roomâs occasional chairs. Gneeecey had warned us that they were chairs only occasionally. Well, sure enough, this time, the freaking chair decided not to be a chair. It threw me. I landed in a hurting heap. I glared at the smug piece of furniture. I didnât like its attitude. Before I could pick myself up off the floor, little Oxymoron was all over me, licking my face.
It was disconcerting to receive comfort from someone who bore such close resemblance to Gneeecey.
âI, uh, didnât meanâum, Iâm sorry for, yâknow, when I saidâI mean, when I thought Iâd rather have malaria than ever come back here again,â I stammered. âI really didnât meanââ
âItâs okay,â replied Flea, patting my arm.
âThanks for understanding.â
âDe nada.â
My jaw dropped. The superhero spoke Spanish.
âBeen waitinâ to use thatâwe studied alien languages at the academy. Trouble speaks in many tongues.â
âIâI imagine it does.â
âLetâs go, Nicki. Time to getâcha home.â Flea crouched down to rub Oxymoronâs snowy tummy. âDonât worry, SpotsicklesâBogelthorpe the doorman will be up soon to take care of ya.â
Hands trembling, I stroked the pupâs lightbulb-sized head. Flea had finally given me clearance to dimension-jump back to Earth.
SFX: [Magic Spell] [Misgivings & Misfortune]
Oxymoronâs yelps intensified as we lumbered down the corridor. Poor pup was alone again. SFX: [Puppy Barking] My numb, dimension-burned leg muscles didnât feel all that strong. I had to stop every few yards. Flea had determined that I was good to go. But was I?
âBad morning,â gushed skinny, human Bogelthorpe as he bounced out of the chiming elevator. SFX: [Elevator Chimes] A choke chain dangled from his pasty fingers. The doorman smoothed down his greasy black patent-leather hair with his free hand. He reminded me very much of a certain Transylvanian count.
âBad morninâ,â replied Flea, his eyes fixed on my gimpy limbs. Bogelthorpe inserted a long, thin arm back into the car after we entered and pressed the button for the lobby, to save us the trouble. SFX: [Electronic Button] His open hand, ignored by Flea, narrowly escaped being severed at the wrist by the closing doors. I clutched the icy railing and braced myself for the ear-popping descent.
SFX: [Elevator Chimes]
SFX: [Magic Spell]
Daylight glorified my prized red â64-and-a-half Mustangâs new streaks and dents. My late dad had spent years restoring that car, his last gift to me.
Flea had rescued me when my car was shoved off the Perswayssick Bridge by some invisible force. Afterward, Iâd been in no shape to drive. So, I let Flea drive us into town. He was a nice guy, but a horrible driverâthe damage to my vehicle was proof. Tears welled up as I flopped into the driverâs seat and pulled the door shut. SFX: [Slot Clunk]
Flea leaned into my open window. âYouâre trapped,â he whispered, glancing over his shoulder, âbetween worlds.â
âWhaaaââ
âPerswayssick County was created when our two dimensions collided.â
âThis isnât funnyââ
The terrier-hound-like canine-humanoid fiddled with his long black furry ear. âIt was an accidental interface.â
âCâmonââ
âOur Planet Eccchs scientists call it an âEDEââan Exponential Dimensional Event. Itâs complicatedâhasta do witâ time warps anâ the time-space continuum, anâ tripled dimensional displacement.â
âTripled dimensional displacement,â I repeated, praying that Flea wasnât some kind of nut. Trouble evidently did speak in many tongues.
âIâm not some kinda nut!â
âHeyâyou promised that you wouldnât violate my mental privacy with your superhero ESP!â
âYa wanna go home?â
âArenât you supposed to be telling me how?â
âDisplacement formulas are so complex that Zig thinks about âem when he has trouble sleepinâ. He says it works better than countinâ herds of vlork vaulting over vlonkets.â
I winced. I couldnât picture Gneeecey counting anything but cash.
âZig will explain the technical part better, some other timeââ
âSome other time? There isnât gonna beââ
âSssssh! I know this is difficult to wrap your head around.â
âYou got that right.â
âWhen ya think of it though, weâre lucky.â
I licked my dry lips. âWe are? How so?â
âWell,â replied Flea, laughing so hard that he almost began crying, âif one of those collidinâ dimensions, say yours, was antimatter, we wouldnât even be here havinâ this conversation.â
I shot him a sidelong glance.
âAnyway,â he continued, regaining his composure, âwhen the outer reaches of our atmospheresâyours anâ mineâtouched, that action created a whole new dimension incorporatinâ elements of your Earth anâ my Planet Eccchs.â
âStrange universe. Youâd better not be pulling my leg.â
âIâm not. Anâ actually, our scientists say itâs a multiverseâat least a tripliverse, possibly a quadrupliverse.â
My tired eyes widened.
âAnyway,â he informed me, âour Perswayssick Countyâs parta New Joisey.â
âOh?â
âPlanet Eccchsâactually, our richly historic Commonwealth of Bozoviaâbrushed by your Earthâs Garden State, quite accidentally.â
âHow come the rest of Jersey doesnât know?â
âOur Perswayssick Countyâs not detectable by your dimension.â
âSo, then you donât pay state taxes.â
Fleaâs face lit up. âOr federal. But we do maintain our own taxation commission, to ensure county safety anâ services. Taxation is one of the things our Grate Gizzygalumpaggis Zig Gneeecey oversees.â
My jaw tightened. Gneeecey would tax a dead horse and enjoy it.
The superhero noticed my pained expression. âZigâs not all that bad. I mean, everyoneâs got their faults, but heâs really an okay guy. Weâve been best friends since our childhood back on Planet Eccchs.â
I remained silent.
âDo ya understand all this so far?â
âHonestly, Flea, Iâm trying.â
He rubbed his fuzzy chin, searching for the right words. âYa canât see these other dimensions from here or thereâitâs kinda like not beinâ able to see somethinâ thatâs around the corner.â
âUh-huh.â
He raised an index finger. âLike radio wavesâya canât see âem, butâcha know theyâre there.â
I nodded. âOkay. Gotâcha. But now, how do I return to, yâknow, regular New Jersey?â
âWell, that all depends on whatâcha consider regularââ
âPleaseââ
âAwright, awright.â He grabbed a pen from his utility belt and scribbled something on the back of a business card.
âWhatâs that?â I asked.
He slapped his hand over my mouth, squashing half my nose. âThese words are your passport home. Donât say âem aloud till youâre in a deserted area! Nebberd-kinnezzardâanâ that means extra never, where I come fromâsay âem when youâre sick, or witâ anyone, or in a populated areaâit would be disastrous.â
Trying my best to breathe through one clogged nostril, I could only grunt.
âIâd suggest you drive out to those woods, back on Street Avenue,â Flea advised, finally removing his hot, prickly mitt from my face. âYâknow, we passed through there, after I rescued ya, on our way to Perswayssick City anâ Gneeezleâs.â
âJust these four words will get me home?â The wordsâwhich Iâm not gonna say outloud now, for the sake of our safetyâseemed very familiar.
âYupâlike Zig says, three lousy numbers anâ a color.â
âYou mean, Gneeecey knows how toââ
âNow, put that card away!â
âHow do I know that this, uh, incantation, wonât transport me to your planet?â
Flea gazed heavenward. âIt canât. Nuthinâ can.â
âYou canât return to your planet?â
âNope.â The elbow-high superhero wiped his wet peepers on his navy polyester sleeve. âUs Eccchsersâcanine-humanoids, humans, anâ other folk, like Gneeeceyâs restaurant delivery mouse Altitudeâhave no such way of goinâ home.â
âWhy not?â
âHas somethinâ to do witâ our planet beinâ the PDTâthe Primary Dimensional Transgressor. Our scientists say we caused the EDE. Quantum Electrohypernuculational Globulization or somethinâ like thatâIâm not totally sure. Ask Zigââ
âYou mean, Gneeecey?â
âHeâs the expert,â declared Flea.
âCanât your, yâknow, ESP help?â
âEven when it works, it never gives me an answer to this.â
âDoes your planet know youâre stranded?â
âYeah. Our technologyâs kinda more advanced than yours,â Flea answered apologetically.
âAnyone from my New Jersey stuck on your planet after this, uh, EDE mishap?â
âNot that we know ofâalthough some of our citizens have reported sightinâ rogue tomatoes. Giant ones.â
âHow many of you Planet Eccchsers are stuck here in Perswayssick County?â
He lowered his head. âAt last census, fifteen million.â
âThatâs more people than in all ofââ
âNew York City,â he proclaimed, finishing my sentence. âMore people than your planet has in some of its countries.â
âSo, are you able to communicate with your planet?â
âWe maintain an electronic link-upâour computers have a twenny-seven-zillion-point-two terafluroflop capability,â he replied, sniffling. âWe can even transfer certain light materials back anâ forth, like rindom seeds.â
My own eyes had misted over. Flea blew his honking nose on his red cape. SFX: [Duck Horn] âOur scientistsâhere in Perswayssick County anâ back on our mother planetâare workinâ day anâ night, thirteen months a year, to find the right formula to bring us home.â
I took his four-fingered hand in mine. The hint of a smile suddenly illuminated his tear-stained face, much like sunshine peeking through clouds after a soaking storm. âYâknow, as Grate Gizzygalumpaggisâor, Grate Gizzy for short, to, yâknow, conserve vowels anâ consonantsâour Zig Gneeecey will not only be accountable for our safety anâ welfareâ heâll be spearheadinâ our efforts to return home.â
âYou mean, Gneeeceyââ
âFleeeea!â screamed a sign-carrying figure, zigzagging across the street, as horns blasted and tires shrieked. SFX: [Screeching Brakes] [Horns]
Fleaâs bulbous eyeballs popped out. âFlubbubbâwatch out!â
A split-second later, a speeding brown Freak OâNature Foods truck plowed into a swerving kelly-green taxi. SFX: [Car Crash] [Glass Shatter]
Oblivious to the fact that Perswayssick Cityâs main drag Murgatroyd Avenue had, in his honor, just tied itself into knots to gift-wrap him a smash-up, complete with sparkling confetti, the furry jaywalking canine-humanoid stepped up onto the curb.
As the drivers emerged from their crumpled vehicles, cussing each other out, Flea grabbed his pal by the shoulders. âFor Saint Bogelthorpeâs sake, Flubbubbâya jusâ almost got hit!â
âLousy drivers,â muttered Flubbubb. His golden, iridescent fur reflected subtleties of the rainbow with each movement. A cinnamon widowâs peak capped his lustrous dome, and he possessed a magnificently silky buff tail. Flubbubb set his handmade âStop the Divlopmentâ sign down on the sidewalk. The âSâ had been scrawled backward.
SFX: [Sirens] [Metal Bang] âI see,â Flea shouted over the whining sirens and clanking tow-trucks, âyouâre demonstratinâ against the development.â
âYeahâI been protestinâ the divlopment all morninâ, all by myself, to impress Zig.â
âNice threads,â commented Flea, noticing the handsome Flubbubbâs electric-blue âSave the Goonafishâ T-shirt.
âThanks. Been wearinâ it every dayâI mean, how can the poor goonafish learn if their underwater schools get bulldozed, like Zig says? Anâ we canât let those mean divloppers steal all Zigâs moneyââ
âFlubbubb,â interrupted Flea, looking my way, âNicki Rodriguez. Nicki, Flubbubb Finial.â
âHi.â I extended a hand.
âOh, hi.â Flubbubb glanced absentmindedly in my direction for all of two seconds, then addressed Flea, in his Gneeecey-like voice. âCanât wait till our big rally tonight, in Circle Square!â
My teeth hurt at the thought of Gneeecey playing an electrically amplified violin.
âUh, Flubbubbââ
âDid Zig say I could play witâ youse? Did he? Did he? Did he?â Flubbubbâs tail revolved so rapidly that he resembled a helicopter, ready for take-off.
âUh, well, uhââ
âGot my concert triangleâthe gold oneâspecifically anâ professionally tuned, âspecially for tonight. Anâ Iâm takinâ these anti-xylophobic tablets, tooâthe pharmacist says theyâre herbicidal. Theyâll be sure to control my fear of xylophones!â
âFlubbubb, we gotta talkââ
âI love talkinâ about Zig! Heâs so cool!â Flubbubb, Flea, and Gneeecey had been childhood pals back on Planet Eccchs. I recall Flea saying that Flubbubb worshipped the very ground that Gneeecey sat on. Flubbubb was always trying to gain Gneeeceyâs favor, with no success.
Steering Flubbubb up the walk, Flea pointed to a chrome-plated railroad car across the street. âNicki, weâre headinâ over to the diner there. Can I buy ya brunch?â
âUh, noâplease donât! Um, I mean, no thanks!â
Flea smiled. âOkay, Nicki. Next time.â
âUhâthere wonât be a next timeââ
âDonât be so sure. Oh, anâ here.â Flea handed me a wad of bills.
âWhatâs that for?â
He grinned sheepishly. âYour bumpers.â
âThanks, but I canât take thatâyou saved my life.â
He stepped back. âI insist. I caused a lot of damage to your car. My drivinâ was kinda bad.â
âNo, Flea, I absolutely canât take this. You saved my life.â I tucked the money into Fleaâs red utility belt. âYâknow, Iâm gonna miss youâ youâre a real class act.â
âAw, thatâs the nicest thing anyoneâs ever told me.â His eyes glistened with tears.
âI mean it, Flea.â
âYou be careful, Nicki. Please.â
Nodding, I fastened my seatbelt. The superhero tossed a cellophane Freak OâNature Rindom Doodles bag through my open window. I knew I couldnât eat âem.
The rust-colored, arrow-shaped flakes were razor-sharpâone had punctured my thumb, just the night before, in Spotsâs condo.
âYa gotta be hungry!â
I smiled. âThanks, Flea. Nice meeting you, Flubbubb. If I run into Julio, Iâll tell him you guys said hi.â
Flubbubbâs chin clunked to his chest, his spinning chocolate eyes stilled by terror.
SFX: [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell]
I was ready to roll. Iâd lost track of how many times Iâd peered down at the card Flea had given me, to make sure it was still there. Hyperventilating, I turned my key SFX: [Car Engine], comforted by the Mustangâs distinctive idle, that is, until voices exploded from my speakersâsassy and harmonized, like my grandmotherâs favorite group, The Andrews Sistersâbelting out, âNuthinâ could be stoopider than a week away on Jupiter, with you, joop-joop-a-joop, stoop-stoop-a-stoop!â
I slammed the radioâs remaining knob with my fistâpopping it off. SFX: [Boing] I screeched out of my parking space. SFX: [Screeching Brakes]
Murgatroyd Avenue remained littered with broken glass from the accident Flubbubb had caused, and traffic was bumper-to-bumper. SFX: [Engine] [Motorcycle Rumbling] [Horns] [Sirens]
Overhead, tangles of unchanging red lights, multi-colored blinkers, and odd signs decorated intersections like carelessly hung holiday ornaments. What did âlook before you stop to start before you go,â and âleft turners may not, unless not specified not to, especially in this lane, otherwise move into the next left-turn-only lane before trying not to do it again,â mean?
My damp clothes glued me to my seat as the midday sun transformed the car into a greenhouse. Exhaust mingled with street vendorsâ steaming, bitter-smelling rindom-laced munchies, manufacturing a hanging stink. Nausea stole up into my throat.
SFX: [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell]
Iâd made it out of the city. Leaves blew down the road sideways, their sharp points scraping the pavement. The sweet smoke that swirled through the crisp air conjured up phantoms of autumns past. Before I knew it, Street Roadâs flame-colored woods filled my windshield.
Jelly jiggled through my veins as I drove over layers of crunchy foliage SFX: [Leaves Crunch] and parked. I scrutinized Fleaâs chicken scratch on the back of his business card until the words meant nothing.
Its flip side pictured the superhero flying high up in the clouds, clutching a model of a spine, his scarlet cape billowing. Embossed letters below the image read: Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, Superhero. In a jam? Call 3-3-3âS-O-O-P-E-R-F-L-E-A. Chiropractic office opening soon on Shnoggleshnook Road & Achilles Avenue! Ask Flea or visit xxx-dot-ifyoucryfleawillfly-dot-zoom or xxx-dot-ouchmyback-dot-click.
Cold perspiration gathered on my upper lip as I recalled other times Iâd sat frozenâacross the street from the midtown salsa club where Iâd often emcee. Each time the traffic light went red, Iâd promise myself, next light. Next light, Iâll get out and go into the building. Iâd play that game until it was nearly time for the bandâand meâto be onstage. Once inside, Iâd always wonder why Iâd stayed in the car so long. It wasnât because I was afraid to meet anyone named Julio.
Heart racing, I lowered my head onto the steering wheel, then bolted upright and opened my mouth. Out tripped Fleaâs four little wordsthe three numbers and color....
SFX: [Explosion] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Magic Summon] After the blinding purple flash, I saw nothing.
SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLĂ: Meanwhile, back in that other timeline, at 666 Van Pooop LaneâŚ.
SFX: [Cartoon Snoring]
G: Hear her snorinâ upstairs, Fleaglossitty? Weâre lucky she gave up on tryinâ to find us.
F: Yeah, Zig. Beinâ invisible has its perks.
G: But we donât know how stinkinâ long weâre gonna stay invisible. We gotta figure out some way to neutralize her for the forstinkable future.
F: We gotta buy ourselves some time here.
G: Me beinâ a certifiable genius, I just thought of somethinâ. Perhaphoops ya remember laaast time we were prisoners in this lousy house, we put that real strong glue on her terlit seat?
F: Yeah, Zig. Our only mistake was, we only put it on the seat. So she ended up freeinâ herself, runninâ around witâ the toilet seat stuck to her big bimbus!
G: So, this time, we not only put the glue all over the seat, we also glue the seat to the terlit itself! I know where she keeps the glue!
F: Zig, youâre a genius!
G: Iâm always tellinâ ya that, Fleaglossitty! I should win a nobular peace prize! Câmon!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [HumanWalkUpstairs] [Cartoon 1] [Human Hiccup] [Magic Spell]
We hope you enjoyed this weekâs episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal SolĂĄ, Sandi SolĂĄ, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick âEl Molestosoâ Rivera, Diane L., Brunie CariĂąo, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.
And thank you for tuning in to âPerswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.â We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that youâll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing!
Frank: Itâs a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###