Mayhem, Mishaps, & Maudlyn

“Mayhem, Mishaps, & Maudlyn,” Ep.191

Get ready for a wild ride in this comedy, fantasy, and sci-fi adventure! When the slippery, scheming Nurse Maudlyn traps the tiny (but ever-resourceful) canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, chaos erupts at 666 Van Pooop Lane! 🚀💥 Will Zig escape the shattered glass, castor oil spills, and a furious nurse? Meanwhile, Sooperflea’s enhanced superhero ESP leads him on a high-flying mission to save his best friend—but his dramatic arrival doesn’t go as planned! 🦸‍♂️✨

Over at Gneeezle’s Restaurant, in that other timeline, an intergalactic championship has patrons cheering—until a mysterious mishap and a crumbling Greek column send Nicki Rodriguez spiraling deeper into absurdity! Will she ever get home, or is she stuck in this bizarre universe forever? 😱🌀

🎧 Tune in for interdimensional antics, slippery showdowns, and non-stop laughs in this sci-fi comedy escapade! 🚀😆

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 ✅ Ridiculous adventures
 ✅ Time-twisting chaos
 ✅ Laugh-out-loud moments
 ✅ The most unappetizing diner specials this side of the multiverse

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Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

Transcript

Transcript / Mayhem, Mishaps, & Maudlyn – Episode 191, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In our last episode, “Strange Sports, Slippery Stairs, & Stubborn Superheroes”, a dimension burn-shrunk canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey has been abducted by a fugitive, evil Nurse Maudlyn but catches a break when she awakens and goes into the bathroom. Because she doesn’t remember where she’d put her eyeglasses before turning in, and has little memory of the previous night, the rotten woman doesn’t notice that Gneeecey has escaped from the jar she’d trapped him in. He had managed to cause it to roll off her nightstand, onto the floor, where it shattered, freeing him. Overnight, he’s also grown a little. While Nurse Maudlyn’s busy in the privy, Gneeecey scoops the broken glass up off the floor SFX: [Glass Debris] and deposits in her bed, SFX: [Glass Debris] covering it with her top sheet. As the bathroom is occupied, and he’s still so tiny, he relieves himself in one of her “comfortable at-home” shoes. SFX: [Mud Drops] He then grabs a huge bottle of castor oil and hauls it downstairs, with intentions of bringing it to the kitchen, but….

SFX: [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo] [HumanWalkDownstairs] [Sneakers Squeaking] [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris] [Splash] 

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Oh, stinkin’ no—I dropped the dopey bottle, an’ this slipoopery castor oil’s spillin’ all over—down the stairs—

SFX: [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn]

G: —faster than I can outrun it! Ow—my lousy bimbus!

SFX: [Flushing the Toilet]

G: Uh-oh….

NURSE MAUDLYN: Thank goodness my glasses were in the bathroom…. I don’t even remember leaving them there last night…. Ah, there are my comfortable at-home shoes. SFX: [Splash] Yaaaah! I—I have to sit down! SFX: [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris] Yaaaah—why that little—wait till I get hold of him!

SFX: [BodyfallHuman] [Glass Debris]

NM: What’s all this slippery liquid doing all over my newly stained and varnished stairs!

SFX: [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn]

G: I better run into the kitchen!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]

NM: Not so fast, you dastardly canine-humanoid!

SFX: [Comedy Chase] [Sneakers Squeaking] 

G: Perhaphoops if I climb up them metal shelves there full of them little bottles an’ deckookerations, I can escape through that open window!

NM: Don’t you dare climb up my beautiful, expensive wrought iron etagere with custom cut tempered glass shelving where I keep my costly and rare spices and my delicate Eccchsian goblets! You’re going to make it—

SFX: [Metal Crash] [Bang] [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris]

NM: Fall!

SFX: [She Calls You]

G: yeah—an’ it’s stinkin’ heavy! I’m trapped under this lousy idiotry or whatever ya called it—an’ I’m trapped wit’ yooou!

NM: [Howls] 

SFX: [Slide Guitar] [Magic Spell] [Space, Mystery Tune]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, back at Area Fifty-and-four-fourths, Gneeecey’s BFF and fellow canine-humanoid Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, otherwise known as “Sooperflea,” goes AWOL. Perswayssick Super Academy Professor Willard Wallbang had charged him with supervising students as they utilize their mental powers to repair the flying saucer Nurse Maudlyn had totaled after skyjacking it. Dimension burn has enhanced Sooperflea’s failing superhero ESP.

PROFESSOR WILLARD WALLBANG: Mister Floppinsplodge! I order you to come back—this minute!

FLEAGLOSSITTY “FLEA” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Can’t! Gotta go save Zig! 

SFX: [Cartoon Superhero Vocal Fanfare] [Jet Engine Startup] [Passing Swoosh] 

F: I know it’s true! That combination of severe dimension burn an’ my carryin’ that magical silver gloog, y’know, made of that powerful difalconiumyte, it—it has definitely enhanced my superhero ESP! I’m gonna save Zig! I know that rotten Nurse Maudlyn is holdin’ him hostage at her residence—looky! There it is, now! 666 Van Pooop Lane! I’m gonna try an fly down her chimney! Wowzickles, even my flyin’ is faster! Look how good I’m flyin’—

SFX: [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris] [Slide Guitar] [Magic Spell] [Misgivings & Misfortune] [Restaurant Ambience]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, Earthling human Nicki Rodriguez continues to exist in that alternate timeline after having merged accidentally with her double. She and black-furred  canine-humanoid Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, otherwise known as “Sooperflea” have arrived at Gneeezle’s Restaurant, where Flea has introduced her to the greasy dive’s owner, his best friend and fellow canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey…. Gneeecey’s attitude is hostile. And Nicki is crestfallen to find out that her severe dimension burn will make it impossible for her to return to her own world. Attempting another dimension jump so soon could kill her…. So, she is informed that she must stay the night in Perswayssick City—at Gneeecey’s pet puppy’s condo. Dizzy and exhausted, she’s just returned from Gneeezle’s restroom….

SFX: [ Magic Spell] [Misgivings & Misfortune] [Restaurant Ambience]

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: I sat at our table, watching as Gneeecey snatched a newspaper from under an astonished customer’s nose, and waddled to the back. 

“Pardon the indelicacy,” I whispered in Flea’s droopy ear, “but, what was that plastic thing attached to the back of the seat in the, y’know, privy? It fell off and wouldn’t go back on.” 

“Oh, ya mean, the sploggle,” he replied, blushing through his fur. “Sploggles, uh, keep our tails high and dry.” 

“Uh, Flea, we’ve gotta talk—I’ve gotta get back home—” 

A blood-curdling yelp let forth from the bathroom. Seconds later, Gneeecey appeared, nostrils flared. Before he could unlatch his poisonous muzzle, patrons began cheering wildly. SFX: [Baseball Crowd] 

“It’s an upset!” exclaimed the TV announcer as Flea jumped up. “With Gronkle completing a second triple before the clock ran out, Planet Eccchs has beaten Zoid III, six boing to one zoing! First time an expansion team’s taken a berth in the Zyphon finals and gone on to win the Intergalactic Championship!” 

Flea and Gneeecey skipped in circles SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking], chanting, “Six boing to one zoing, six boing to one zoing!” When the two flopped into their seats, drunk with ecstasy, Gneeecey turned to me. “Ya made me miss the enda the game, plus ya didn’t eat your dinner.” 

“I—” 

“There’s hungry people on other plaaanets.” 

“Zig—” 

“Waste not, want not—the early bird eats the worm.” 

Groaning, I pulled out my watch. It still read—uh, I’m not gonna say those dangerous numbers! Anyway, the timepiece flew out of my hands when Gneeecey shrilled, “Bad evenin’, Altitude!”

“Bad evenin’, Boss,” replied an oversized mouse. Black-and-white, he was a negative of his similarly-marked employer, to whom he stood elbow-high. 

“You’re two hours late, ya gingivitis-head!” 

“Weren’t my fault.” 

“I hadda cancel all the deliveries!” 

Altitude studied his filthy sneakers. His dilapidated Gnorks jersey bore the name of everyone’s hero, Gronkle. 

Gneeecey smashed his tankard at the young mouse’s sneakered feet, spraying my bare ankles with wet shards. SFX: [Shattering Glass] [Dish Ceramic] “This is posilutely, absitively disgustipatin’! Remember which side of the carpet your bread’s buttered on! Ya wanna end up back in that sploggle factory, workin’ for Broken-nose Tommy?” 

Altitude raised his head. A chewed-up yellow pencil dangled from his lip. “It was the ol’ Splodge. Muffler fell down on Vompt Boulevard. Boy, am I lucky it didn’t come down by Saint Vlad’s, wit’ all dem tombstones!” 

Gneeecey bared his unbrushed teeth. Altitude set down his “BZZG”-monogrammed violin case. “Hadda walk all the way back to Summer Vacation Street for my bike. Its tire was only flat on top. But every time I pedaled, it went flat on the bottom. So, I hadda half-ride it back home an’ jump off every time the bottom went flat.” 

Gneeecey twisted his ladle. 

“Was real good I went home,” Altitude pointed out, “’cause I had forgotted to lock my door. Since it was open, I went right in an’ sat down. Then Gronkle plooked a triple boinger.”

Gneeecey’s spoon snapped in half. 

“Then,” continued the mouse, “I said, geeez, the boss probably wonders where in Hemlock Heights I am. So, I went outside, but went back in when I saw I was wearin’ my watch wit’ the dead battery I couldn’t find another one like.” 

Gneeecey listened, bug-eyed. 

“Searchin’ under my bed for my other watch, I found one of dem flushable cameras—an’ it still had a coupla shots left on it.” 

Gneeecey was frothing at the mouth. 

“Then,” added Altitude, “Zeke’s Pizza an’ Transmissions called, an’ after I reminded ’em it was your car, they said it’s the whole exhaust system an’ transmission too.” 

Gneeecey fell to his knees. 

“Too bad,” concluded Altitude, “it wasn’t jus’ half the exhaust system an’ transmission, y’know, like jus’ half my tire goin’ flat. two of those halves wouldn’a cost as much as two wholes of one thing each.” 

Altitude swaggered over to Flea. “Great game, huh? Did’ja see Gronkle zorg—after Obble couldn’t block him?” 

Gneeecey lunged in Altitude’s direction. Howling bloody murder, the mouse tore toward the kitchen, his boss hot on his heels. The two crashed through the doors like a train wreck. SFX: [Metal Crash] [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell]

Gneeecey flicked the light switch. “Eat up!” Cutlery clanked as customers bolted down their meals. “Line up by the register when you’re done,” he ordered, snatching a dish from under an elderly human’s poised fork. “I think you’ve had enough for now, sir, don’chooo?” The gray-haired gentleman gawked. “Take it wit’cha, why don’cha?” Gneeecey dumped the entrée into a paper bag and tossed it into the man’s lap. “It’ll keep—it’s kept for months awready.” 

Hoping to kick some life back into my limbs—and convince Flea that I was strong enough to leave—I limped over to Gneeecey’s puke-pink plastic Greek columns. As Bacchus winked my way, I reached out to touch one. SFX: [Explosion] It crashed to the floor and cracked in half. 

“Iggleheimer!” shrieked Gneeecey as he ran toward me and climbed me like a ladder. He dug his sharp, skinny feet into my shoulders and plastered his face against mine. 

“Get offa me,” I pleaded. 

“Ya broke my restaurant—ya busted my precious lousy column! Y’know how much this is gonna cost me?” 

“Ow—all I did was touch it lightly—with one finger—” 

“Even if they stinkin’ fix it,” he yowled, yanking a fistful of hair out of my scalp, “it’ll never be the same!” 

“Fleeeea!” I hollered. 

“Whole place is ruint! Permutantly disfigurated!” 

Flea zoomed across the room and peeled his crazed pal off me.  

“Zig, it was an accident.” 

“Accident, shmaccident—she did it on purpoopose!” 

Seeing stars and a couple of planets circled by birds, I sank back into my chair. Altitude, pleased to see someone else in the doghouse, smirked. 

“Ya jus’ need some glue, Zig,” insisted Flea. “It’ll be good as new.” 

“But the crack will still show,” sobbed Gneeecey, long, blond strands of my hair hanging from his clenched fists. “My column will look ancient!” SFX: [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell]

SFX: [Bang] Gneeecey kicked his cash register open and began scooping greenbacks and coins SFX: [Clinking Coins] into a King Oggle Supermarket’s sack. After a couple seconds, he jerked the entire tray out and turned it upside down. SFX: [Bang] “Tips in the bag, too,” he instructed diners. “An’ once your mon-ney’s in, I can’t give out no change—it’s against my policy. An’ I’m watchin’ youse—I count it all at home.” 

The way Gneeecey pronounced the word “money,” exaggerating the word’s two syllables, sounded really silly to me. As each departing patron paid, the canine-humanoid shouted angrily, “Bad night!” 

Flea, last in line, opened his purple rubber billfold. “Gee, Zig, prices really rose since last week!”

“Inflation hits everyone, even business maggots like me.” 

I opened my purse. “Here, Flea—” 

“No,” he replied, handing Gneeecey a pile of crumpled bills. “I told ya, it was my treat. Besides, ya didn’t eat nuthin’.” 

Gneeecey tapped his foot. “That’s thirty-five thirty-nine.” 

Flea scrounged through his pockets. SFX: [Clinking Coins] “Here—two quarters.” 

“Can’t give out change.” Gneeecey quadruple-knotted his bulging satchel’s drawstring, then marched over to a metal box and threw three giant switches. Gneeezle’s ghastly interior disappeared into darkness—a euthanasia of sorts, albeit temporary. 

SFX: [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell] [She Calls You]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: And back in that other timeline, at 666 Van Pooop Lane….

SFX: [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris]

NM: What in Bogelthorpe’s name was that?

G: Sounded like some lousy  glaaass breakin’. Maybe somebody don’t like ya! Lotsa people don’t like ya! I caaan’t stinkin’ staaand ya!

NM: Put a sock in it, you dastardly canine-humanoid!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [BodyFallHuman] [Cartoon Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn]

F: Ow—my bimbus! What’s all that slippery stuff on the stairs! SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]

G: Fleaglossitty—it’s yooou! Thank Bogelthorpe! 

F: I was aimin’ for the chimney but I was a little off—came through a second-story bedroom window instead.

G: Haaaalp, Fleaglossitty! I’m trapped—wit’ this horribooble woman—under this here lousy metal idotry!

NM: That’s etagere, you dastardly canine-humanoid! And it will cost you a fortune to replace—if I let you live that long!

G: Fleaglossitty—haaaalp! Get me out from under this thing! It fell ontoppa us—

NM: Because you had to climb it!

G: Stinkin’ whatever! I been trapped under this thing, wit’ her, for hours! Haaalp!

SFX: [Magic Glitter]

F: You ain’t trapped wit’ her no more, Zig! She jus’ vanished—into thin air!

G: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! 

SFX: [Magic Spell] 

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###