Haywire ESP, Superhero Hiccups & Interdimensional Chaos

Haywire ESP, Superhero Hiccups & Interdimensional Chaos! 🚀😂✨ Ep. 188

Canine-humanoid Diroctor Bizzig "Zig" Gneeecey has a BIG problem—he's shrinking! As he dwindles to invisibility inside the Perswayssick County Courthouse, his not-so-trustworthy doppelgänger Ebegneeezer Geshundheit Eeeceygnay panics and bolts! And evil escape artist Nurse Maudlyn appears! Meanwhile, Earthling Nicki Rodriguez, trapped in an alternate timeline, teams up with the caped canine superhero Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, AKA Sooperflea, whose hiccup crisis leads to some epic parking fails—outside Gneeecey’s dump of a dive—Gneeezle’s Restaurant. And back at Perswayssick Superhero Academy, Flea’s ESP is going haywire—Gneeecey’s in danger, but can he convince Professor Wallbang before it’s too late? 😱💥

👾 Expect sci-fi chaos, fantasy adventure, superhero slapstick, and comedy gold as interdimensional mayhem unfolds! Will Gneeecey escape evil Nurse Maudlyn’s clutches? Will Flea ever master parallel parking? And what’s the deal with Napoleon’s pants?! 🤣

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Episode Artwork created by ChatGPT

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

Transcript

Transcript / Haywire ESP, Superhero Hiccups & Interdimensional Chaos! 🚀😂✨ – Episode 188, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In our last episode, “Laser Standoffs, Superhero Shenanigans, and a Shrinking Crisis!”, dimension-burn-plagued canine-humanoid seven-foot-high hopping Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, with his untrustworthy Planet HyenaZitania doppelgänger Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay riding on his shoulders, has boinged all the way to the Perswayssick County Courthouse.  (He couldn’t fit in a cab or bus.)

SFX: [Door Open] [Space, Mystery Tune]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Okay, here we are. Ya can get down, now. I’m gonna have to duck so I don’t bang my dopey noodle on the lousy door frame. SFX: [Door Open] [Space, Mystery Tune] Now, I gotta find Judge Blobbert. I hope he ain’t gone for the day. Hey! I ain’t hoppin’ no more!

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: But now you’re shrinking—and rather rapidly! You’re only the height of my kneecap—wait, make that my ankle! 

G: Ebegoogoo—ya gotta pick me up! Put me in your pocket an’ take me back to my house! You’ll hafta explain to Grandma an’ Doctor Idnas what’s goin’ on! Doctor Idnas might be able to help me! 

E: Perhaps you should go to hospital!

G: Perhaphoops not! We only got two hospoopitals in this county—Florence Ferguson Memorial an’ Holy Krapp. That lousy Nurse Maudlyn could be hidin’ out in one of ’em. Jus’ stinkin’ pick me up! Put me in your pocket an’ bring me home—pleeeease!

E: I would if I could, old chap. But now, I can’t even see you! Where the bloody hell are you?

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] 

G: Haaaalp! Where ya goin’? Ya can’t leave me here!

E: Bloody hell. I don’t see him, and I can’t hear him. I had better go break this rather unpleasant news to Doctor Idnas and Mrs. Scriblig….

SFX: [Door Slam]

G: Ebegoogoo! Come baaack—pleeeeaze!

SFX: [Door Open] [Sneakers Squeaking]  

G: Someone’s comin’ outta that other door now—proboobably Judge Blobbert! Robert! Robert! Haaalp! It’s meeee, Diroctor Gneeecey! Can ya see me?

NURSE MAUDLYN: Oh, Judge Blobbert can’t see you, but I can!

G: Oh, stinkin’ nooo—it’s rotten Nurse Maudlyn!

NM: The one and only! And you’re about to find out how rotten I can be!

G: Not if ya can’t catch me!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Comedy-Chase] [Cartoon Slip] [Duck Horn]

G: Yaaaah! Fell on my lousy bimbus!

NM: Got’cha! You’re coming home with me! To a place you’re already familiar with—666 Van Pooop Lane! But this time, I’ll be keeping an eye on you! Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!

SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Space, Mystery Tune] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, Earthling human Nicki Rodriguez continues to exist in that alternate timeline after having merged accidentally with her double. She’s found herself in Perswayssick County, seemingly for the first time. After suffering several traumatic events, she’s befriended by Fleaglossitty “Flea” Floppinsplodge, otherwise known as “Sooperflea.” The black-furred canine-humanoid is driving her, in her red 1964-and-a-half Mustang, to Perswayssick City, where he says his best friend, Zig, will take care of her. 

SFX: [Misgivings & Misfortune] [Car Engine]

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Miniature clapboard houses, their arched doorways boarded up by knotted planks, dotted Boulevard Avenue’s hillsides. Paint peeled off the single-storied, windowless dwellings, and their half-shingled roofs resembled checkerboards. Between shacks, weeds towered over broken bottles and crushed cans, and crumpled bits of newsprint skimmed the ground, turning like pinwheels.
 Up ahead, a lone, matted schnauzer—a tiny, regular dog—eyed us furtively, then ventured from its spot smack in our car’s path, dragging a brown paper bag. Flea leaned on the horn SFX: [Car Horn] and the animal became a dirty blur. A couple miles later, we rolled past a tall cyclone fence that guarded an expansive yard heaped with overturned shopping carts, many
 missing wheels.
 “Shoppin’ Cart Orphanage,” volunteered Flea, bearing right onto Murgatroyd Avenue—a main drag.
 It took forever-and-a-half to pass a broken-windowed, smoke-vomiting plant known as the Mierkolatory, an architectural disaster of pachydermian proportion, coated by centuries of soot. I wound my window up and Flea stepped on the gas.

SFX: [Sports Car Engine Rev]
 By the time I’d stopped retching, I found myself gaping at a semicircle of sleek, mirrored buildings, surrounded by twisted shrubbery clipped like kangaroos, giraffes, and anorexic hippos.
 “Freak O’Nature Foods Corporate Headquarters,” Flea informed me. Gothic, three-headed hawks, their stone beaks gushing thin arcs of water, stood at each end of the central, dozen-doored entrance.
 “A sign for the turnpike!” I exclaimed, bolting upright. “I could drop you off, then—”
 “It’s not your turnpike,” snapped Flea.

SFX: [Music Eerie Drama] [Magic Glitter]
 A sparkling city filled the windshield. Everywhere, skyscrapers rushed up into the night skies, their myriad lights indistinguishable from the stars.
 I craned my neck to stare up at one particularly surreal edifice. “Why do they call it Seemingwhale Towers when there’s only one?”
“Uh... well, ya see,” stammered Flea, “they started buildin’ two, but, uh, had a recommendation to put one on top of the other—y’know, turn it into a single buildin’. They kept the original sign, though—it was easier than orderin’ a whole ’nother one.”
“Easier?”
“Jus’ the way it is,” growled Flea.

SFX: [Screeching Brakes] 

Flea screeched to a stop when a cluster of jaywalkers began a leisurely stroll. Perswayssick City’s pedestrians—and drivers—reflected the diverse mix represented on Street Road’s Mierk Fest billboard.
 Nearby, an elderly, tweed-jacketed Flea-look-alike tripped, recovering his balance seconds before his ankle-high, leashed brown-and-white puppy could escape. A group of human kids howled.  SFX: [Children Laughing] The superhero flashed them a dirty look.
 As the last stragglers sauntered past, the light turned red. Flea took the opportunity to point out a ritzy restaurant across the street. A scarlet carpet ran from door to curb, and its marquee’s thousands of micro-sized bulbs spelled out “Les Pantalons De Napoleon,” in elegant script.
 “That’s a real high-class bistro,” explained Flea, “named after Napoleon’s pants. There’s a real pair of his trousers on display—in a locked case next to the men’s room.”
 “Really.”
 “His Waterloo pants,” he whispered, awe-stricken.
 Moments later, a white, fully-articulated stretch-limousine slithered, snakelike, around the corner, each segment sliding smoothly from view. It appeared to have more than thirty doors on each side. “Grate 1”—G-R-A-T-E-1—was the moniker engraved on its Jersey tags.
 “We’re almost—HIC—there—oh, no—this—HIC—always happens—HIC!” spluttered Flea.
 “Hold your breath,” I suggested. I didn’t know him well enough to scare him.
 “Never—HIC—works!” A look of helplessness washed over his face.
 Equally pathetic were his attempts to park between two ambulances. He jerked back and forth for ten minutes, hitting a trash can. SFX: [Metal Crash] [Can Tin] Its contents spilled across the sidewalk.
 I groaned.
 “I think—HIC—I’m finally gettin’ used to ‘PRNDL’,” he announced, ramming both emergency vehicles, incredibly, in a single stroke. SFX: [Metal Crash]
 Averting my gaze, I noticed that same ethereal limo parked across the street. It took up an entire block. Hand-scrawled “out of order” signs covered each adjacent meter.
 Meanwhile, my measly Mustang cowered curbside, illuminated by orange-and-puke-pink neon, flashing the name “Gneeezle’s.” Purple calligraphy below read Fine Family Dining Since 2005. Filthy, half-drawn Venetian blinds languished behind the gaudy lighting.
SFX: [Car Door Open] Flea leapt out of the car, unaware that he’d caught his cape in the door.
“Flea!” I called out, too late. Fabric ripped as his nose hit the pavement, blaring like a trumpet on steroids. SFX: [FabricTearRip] [Duck Horn]
He squirmed his way upright and, whistling a carefree tune, SFX: [Human Whistle] hopped onto the sidewalk, only to stumble over the trunk of an uprooted tree.
My legs had gone numb, and my back felt stiffer than a petrified two-by-four. I staggered over to Flea and helped him to his oar-shaped feet. Clutching onto each other, we hobbled toward the eatery.
“This is—HIC—a real high-class joint,” Flea boasted from underneath my armpit.
Looks more like a high-class dump, I thought. My empty stomach rumbled. 

SFX: [Rumbling Stomach] [Magic Spell] [Space, Mystery Tune]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ:  Meanwhile, back in that other timeline….

SFX: [Hammering]

PROFESSOR WILLARD WALLBANG: Stop, students! Stop, at once! I thought I’d made it quite clear—you are not to be physically rebuilding this spacecraft—you are to employ your metaphysical energies to do so! Mister Floppinsplodge! Mister Floppinsplodge!

“FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA: Oh…oh…. Professor Wallbang….

PWW: Snap out of it, Mister Floppinsplodge! You appear to be in some sort of trance! 

F: I—I—

PWW: I have charged you with overseeing our Perswayssick Superhero Academy students’ reconstruction of this totaled spaceship, and the first thing you do is fall asleep. That is hardly an appropriate example to set, is it?

F: Uh, no, Professor Wallbang. I’m sorry….

PWW: Any more such negligence on your part may well result in my rescinding my offer of that highly sought position on our teaching staff that could’ve been available to you upon successful completion of this critically important project. Is that understood, Mister Floppinsplodge?

F: Uh, yes, Professor Wallbang…. It’s—it’s just that…well…. I think you were right. 

PWW: Do elaborate, Mister Floppinsplodge.

F: My exposure to that, y’know, difalconiumyte gloog that you’re keepin’ safe now, plus my severe case of dimension burn might have resulted in enhancin’ my superhero ESP. When I dozed off for a few seconds there—

PWW: It was for more than a few seconds, Mister Floppinsplodge.

F: I was dreamin’ that I was wit’ Nicki, drivin’ somewhere. It was kinda like déjà vu. An’ that dream got interrupted by, like a news bulletin. I think Zig is in some kinda trouble an’ needs my help!

PWW: Mister Floppinsplodge, your Zig Gneeecey is always in some kind of trouble, most of it his own making. And you can save your dreams about Nicki Rodriguez for when you go to sleep at night. But right now, you have been charged with a task. A rather substantial one, at that. 

F: Yes, Professor Wallbang….

PWW: You do sound rather uncertain. I must advise you that you had better learn to center yourself so that you are capable of operating within the framework of the present moment here. You are charged with an exceedingly serious responsibility, one which you previously agreed to—that of overseeing the reconstruction of this destroyed spacecraft. If we renege on the deal made with alien Vloxx, who knows what havoc he and his team may unleash upon the good citizens of Perswayssick County!

SFX: [Laser] [SciFi Laser] [Terror Tension] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###