A Soft Green Clock Drove a Stomach Into the Plush Computer's Hairdryer?

“A Soft Green Clock Drove a Stomach Into the Plush Computer’s Hairdryer?” Episode 181 

In our last episode, “A Space-Time Continuum Anomaly?”, after human Nicki Rodriguez merges with her double and calls the cops on canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, AKA “Sooperflea,” and Gneeecey’s evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, they have no choice but to exit Earth in split seconds, in a very dangerous way. 

The latter three and Gneeecey’s pet mallard Space Duck survive, ending up in a familiar but unwanted place where more peril awaits. Seconds tick away as they weigh whether long-term, possibly extreme health repercussions justify opting for immediate survival. Dimension burn is no walk in the park, however the answer to this question should be a no-brainer….but remember who we’re dealing with! 

Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

Transcript

Transcript / A Soft Green Clock Drove a Stomach Into the Plush Computer’s Hairdryer?  – Episode 181, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In our last episode, “A Space-Time Continuum Anomaly?”, Earth human Nicki Rodriguez confronts herself—literally. Nicki and her companions, Perswayssick County canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, AKA “Sooperflea,” and Gneeecey’s evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay are astonished when back in what appears to be Nicki’s old neighborhood, her exact double answers her basement apartment door. 

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Now, we need to straighten this out immediately. Please, stop blocking the entrance to my apartment! I’m finally home now, and—

NICKI RODRIGUEZ 2: This is not your home! I’ll—I’ll—

N: Don’t you dare touch me! I said—don’t—don’t—

SFX: [Magic Twinkle Tone]

“FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Nicki! Holy Saint Bogelthorpe!

G: Them two Igs jus’ turned into one Ig!

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: Bloody hell! Both Earth Girls have merged!

N&N2: Now get outta here before I call the cops!

SFX: [Door Slam] [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Then, the Perswayssick Superhero Academy’s Professor Willard Wallbang—well, a long-distance projection of himself shows up….

SFX: [Eerie Sharp Scary Logo]

F: Professor Wallbang!

PROFESSOR WILLARD WALLBANG: Tis only a temporary long-distance projection of myself—a rather extremely long-distance projection. I am pleased to report that I have finally succeeded in transporting a solid material across this vast distance. Clear proof that discipline and unwavering perseverance do indeed pay off. 

F: Professor Wallbang, what’s that glistening silver triangle you’re holdin’ there?

PWW: It is a slab of a rather rare, precious metal, comprised of ninety-nine percent difalconiumyte, one of the most powerful substances known in this universe. I believe this piece here is known as a silver “gloog.” It may that Urgl, leader of the planet you’ve just left. Perhaps if you bring him what he has demanded of you, he may see fit to assist you in your unsuccessful quest to recover your missing spacecraft. Here, Mister Floppinsplodge. As a graduate—just barely—of our Perswayssick Superhero Academy, I shall entrust you with it.

F: Thanks, Professor Wallbang! 

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Ya don’t stinkin’ trust meee wit’ it? 

PWW: Diroctor Gneeecey I’ve been monitoring you from afar, and have found myself to be nothing short of impressed by, let’s say, your amazing ability to find trouble before it finds you.

G: Geewhizzicles, thanks for the compoopliment, Professor Wallbang!

E: That was no compliment, old chap.

F: Professor, we can’t leave here wit’out our Nicki! She—she an’ that other Nicki—they—

PWW: Mister Floppinsplodge, I am fully aware of the merging of your Nicki with the other one. This latest mishap may have been brought about by a space-time continuum anomaly. A temporal disruption. 

F: Huh? A space-time continuum anomaly?

PWW: Indeed, had you paid more attention in class, Mister Floppinsplodge, you would know that we are referring here to possible alternate timelines and the rupturing of time itself. 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: And indeed, the two Nicki’s—well, make that the one new Nicki—did call the cops.

SFX: [Eerie Sharp Scary Logo]

F: Professor Wallbang!

SFX: [Police Siren]

G: Oh, stinkin’ noooo! She did call the cops on us!

E: Bloody hell!

F: Ya gotta help us, Professor Wallbang! Please!

PWW: I’m sorry. I can no longer sustain this projection of myself across such vast distances. Goodbye. And good luck….

SFX: [Eerie Sharp Scary Logo] [Music Eerie Drama] [Police Siren]

G & F [in unison]: Nooooo!

F: Come back—please!

G: What’re we stinkin’ gonna dooo?

SFX: [Police Siren] 

F: Zig, I think we only have one choice here!

G: An’ what’s that, Fleaglossitty?

F: Well, ya self-proclaimed genius, yooou should know—

G: Don’choo get intelligent wit’ meee, Fleaglossitty!

E: Will you two daft fools stop? We must take immediate action!

F: Okay, Zig, guess I’ll hafta spell it out for ya. We’re gonna hafta say them special words—

G: Them stinkin’ three numbers an’ a color?

F: Yep…. Got no other choice. 

E: That’s right. After all, our one escape route, the bloody wormhole, has all but disintegrated.

G: But—we don’t know if we’ll end up back in our dimension of Perswayssick County or—or—

F: Or stranded again, back on that miserable Opposite Earth.

E: We must do it, now! Grab your bloody duck, Diroctor Gneeecey, and let’s go!

G: My duck ain’t bloody!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

F: C’mon, guys! On the count of three! One…two…three!
 G, F, & E [in unison]: Three, forty, two, blue!

SFX: [Explosion] [Music Eerie Drama] [Magic Spell] [Music Eerie Drama]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, back on Earth, in “Regular New Jersey,” the two Nicki’s—well, yeah from now on to be referred to as Nicki—an exhausted, disoriented Nicki climbs the steps of her basement apartment and slowly opens her door….

SFX: [Human Walk Upstairs] [Door Open]

N: Thank goodness they’re gone…. Those three walking, talking dogs…I know I’ve seen them before…somewhere…. And imagine, someone impersonating me. Maybe—maybe I was just seeing things…. I’m exhausted….

SFX: [Door Slam] [Human Walk Downstairs] 

N: I’m so freakin’ tired. Been working way too hard. Better finish packing for my first vacation in five years. Finally, a weekend at the Jersey shore…. Summer’s over…. I’m lucky it’s still warm. I hate winter….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Explosion] [Music Eerie Drama] [Space Exploration] [SciFi Glimmer]

B: Bloody hell—it appears that we are indeed back on Opposite Earth!

F: Well, Mister Eeeceygnay, at least we’re still alive!

G: Yeah, Ebegoogoo. Jus’ ’bout anything beats bein’ unalive. 

SD: Quack! Quack!

G: But I do gotta warn ya—as a doctor an’ a director which makes me a diroctor—we’re all gonna have a reeeal bad case of dimension burn after this. Purple skin an’ weak legs.

E: We bloody did what we had to do. Now, we’d better start walking….in search of our missing spaceship….

G: An’ some lousy food, too. C’mon! I’m stinkin’ starvin’!  

SFX: [Rumbling Stomach]

F: Zig, I suggest ya pick up your duck an’ carry him. Them webbed feet of his will get all cut up walkin’ on this planet’s sharp glass-like red blades of grass. 

SFX: [Crows]

F: Looky, guys—there’s one of them black cloud-shaped liquid pools filled wit’ them white crows!

G: Youse know what that means—this planet’s dopey orange leader Urgl, sittin’ on that gold terlit inside his flyin’ outhouse—he’s gonna show up any stinkin’ second!

E: And like clockwork, there it is, right up there—that bloody outhouse—with wings! 

F: Yep. It’s like we never left…. 

E: Oh, here—look on the ground, Mister Floppinsplodge—you’ve dropped the silver gloog—here!

F: Gee, thanks, Mister Eeeceygnay….

E: No worries, old chap. Let me check and see if you’ve dropped anything else of value on this bloody red grass here and—

G: Hey—Ebegoogoo—watch out—it’s comin’ right at’cha! 

SFX: [Magic Puff] [Magic Twinkle Tone] [FightFist] [Glass Debris] [Reverse Magical Spell]

G: Ow!

E: Ow—you saved me life, mate!

G: Yeah! Ya woulda got a real baaad migraine headache or even a severe discussion in your head if that lousy outhouse had landed on your noodle!

SFX: [Door Open] [Monster] [Animal Lion]

F: Heya, Urgl, whazzup?

URGL: I’ve just eaten the soft green clock that drove a stomach into the plush computer’s hairdryer.

SFX: [Giant Burp]

F: Really? A soft green clock drove a stomach into the plush computer’s hairdryer?  Uh…that’s nice, Urgl. 

SFX: [Monster] [Animal Lion]

G: Okay, okay, Fleaglossitty here didn’t mean to offend ya. He was jus’ tryin’ to be polite!

SFX: [Monster] [Animal Lion]

G: Fleaglossitty, offer him the silver gloog—quick! Perhaphoops he’ll help us like he had suggesticated.

E: Yes, Mister Floppinsplodge. Perhaps he will make good and in exchange, assist us in the recovery of our missing spaceship. It’s our only hope!

SD: Quack! Quack!

G: Even Space Duck agrees!

F: Here, Urgl, is the silver gloog ya requested we find.

G: An’ jus’ like ya wanted, we found it an’ brung it to ya. Here. 

U: My grandmother’s elbow is housed in a small gigantic brick needle.

F: Well, ya gonna help us now? Ya previously indicated that if we brung ya this here gloog, ya would help us find our spaceship so we can travel back home.

G: Yeah. Ya prevooviously said ya would help us find our beaudiful Starship Waterloo!

U: SFX: [Monster Reverb Laugh] I never said I could help you. And your primitive spaceship is no longer here on my planet.

G: He actually said somethin’ that made sense! 

F: Ssssh—quiet, Zig! 

U: Your flying machine was digested by a large, white-clad barbarian without shoes. SFX: [Monster Reverb Laugh]

G: Ya stinkin’ said you’d help us if we brung you this lousy gloog! You’re a stinkin’ liar, ain’cha?

SFX: [Monster Reverb Laugh]

F: Hey, Urgl—don’t snatch that gloog outta my hands! That ain’t polite!

SFX: [Monster] [Monster Reverb Laugh]

SD: Quack! Quack!

G: Space Duck—come back!

E: He just flew up into the bloody outhouse!

SFX: [FightFist] [Quacks] [Monster] 

G: Space Duck!

F: Look—he’s awready flyin’ out! He’s okay! An’ he’s brung us back the silver gloog! An’ he’s wearin’ his expensive silver necklace again, too! What a brave little guy!

SD: Quack! Quack!

U: You will be sorry when I return with a purple dump truck to drop on you! The wristwatch will fall over and you will no longer beeeee!

SFX: [Door Slam] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Magic Glitter]

G: Wow--he’s maaad! Reeeal maaad!

F: An’ he’s comin’ back, so we’d better get goin’! Ya heard him—he’s gonna unalive us!

E: Mister Floppinsplodge is right. We must leave this planet, immediately.

G: But how? We ain’t got our spaceship back! Why are youse two lookin’ at me like that? Nah—we can’t say them four lousy words again! We jus’ stinkin’ dimension jumped! We can’t do it again, so soon—we’ll get real, real sick wit’ dimension burn! An’ we don’t even know where we’re gonna end up! What are we gonna dooo? 

SFX: [Spooky Hollow Fear] [Magic Spell] 

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###