Back on Regular Earth??

“Back on Regular Earth??” Episode 179 

Happy New Year! And welcome to our new season! In our last episode, “If It Was Really a Wormhole, We’d Be Unalive: Adventures on Opposite Earth, Pt. 7,” we left Earth human Nicki Rodriguez, Perswayssick County canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, AKA “Sooperflea,” and Gneeecey’s evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, the missing rotten human Perswayssick County Nurse Maudlyn, and Gneeecey’s kidnapped pet Space Duck hopelessly stranded, zillions of miles away, on Opposite Earth. 

The planet’s monstrous leader Urgl’s winged outhouse had come flying though the magenta skies again—headed for Nicki, Gneeecey, Sooperflea, and Ebegneeezer. Urgl, muttering his usual nonsense, had hurled Gneeecey’s kidnapped pet Space Duck out of his half-moon-doored shack. Silver necklace missing, the feathered mallard sprints into what appears to be a wormhole—chased by Gneeecey, Flea, Ebegneeezer, and Nicki. And where they end up is, well, shocking!

Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

Transcript

Transcript / Back on Regular Earth?? – Episode 179, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2024, © 2025 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Space Exploration] [SciFi Glimmer]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Happy New Year! And welcome to our new season! In our last episode, “If It Was Really a Wormhole, We’d Be Unalive: Adventures on Opposite Earth, Pt. 7,” we left Earth human Nicki Rodriguez, Perswayssick County canine-humanoids Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, AKA “Sooperflea,” and Gneeecey’s evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, rotten human Perswayssick County Nurse Maudlyn, and Gneeecey’s pet Space Duck hopelessly stranded, zillions of miles away. 

The ever-scheming escape artist Nurse Maudlyn has gone MIA, and the helpless motley crew’s spaceship, the Starship Waterloo, has dematerialized. Nicki, Gneeecey, Flea, and Ebegneeezer find themselves at the mercy of Opposite Earth’s leader, Urgl, an orange monster who sits upon a golden toilet contained within a flying outhouse. Nothing but nonsense flows from his mouth, but Nicki, Gneeecey, Flea, and Ebegneeezer have come to understand that he’s demanding they find and bring him a mysterious object—a silver gloog—if they wish him to help them recover their spacecraft. Making matters worse is the fact that Urgl has abducted Gneeecey’s newly found, beloved pet duck, Space Duck…. All the four can do is keep crunching, through Opposite Earth’s red, sharp glassy grass, in search of something…anything….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Space Exploration] [Footsteps Gravel] [Glass Debris]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: We been walkin’ all this time an’ we still ain’t seen nuthin’ worth seein’!

“FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY” FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: I think that’s about to change, Zig!

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Yeah—look up there in the sky—comin out of that big cloud-shaped black liquid pool, filled with white crows

SFX: [Crow] [Magical Twinkle Tone] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Metal Door Open] [Monster] [Animal Lion]

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: Bloody hell!

G: It’s that stinkin’ Urgl, sittin’ on his golden terlit!

URGL: My gelatin briefcase always causes blue spaghetti to swallow running vehicles as they write new songs. I demand that silver gloog so I can have more to vacuum televisions stuck in green traffic. 

G: Stinkin’ whaaat?

SFX: [SuperPowerFlyBy]

SPACE DUCK: Quack!

G: My Space Duck! He jus’ threw him outta the outhouse! 

SFX: [Reverse Magic Spell] [Magic Glitter] [Quack]

G: Space Duck—stinkin’ come back! He’s runnin’ into that tunnel of light—faaast—an’ his silver necklace is missin’! I’m comin’ after ya, Space Duck—don’t run so faaast!

N: Diroctor Gneeecey—that looks like a wormhole of some kind—don’t go in! You might get yourself killed!

F: Zig—no! 

E: Daft fool!

SFX: [Footsteps Gravel] [Glass Debris] 

N: He moves fast—but I still see him! I’m going in after him!

F: Me too! 

E: Bloody hell….

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Quack]

F: It’s like we’re runnin’ on a regular floor here!

N: Diroctor Gneeecey! Turn around! Come back! Ya wanna get killed? It’s a wormhole!

G: It ain’t dangerousical, Ig! If it was really a wormhole, we’d be unalive!

SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] 

N: Holy crap—look out there! It looks like Hackensack—in my New Jersey—back on my planet Earth! There’s the Anderson Street Bridge!

SFX: [Music Eerie Dramatic] 

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

G: Space Duck, you get back here—right stinkin’ now!

F: He’s really fast on them webbed feet, ain’t he?

E: Look behind us—that wormhole has disappeared! SFX: [Fail Horn] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] You and your bloody mallard!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

[N & G in unison]:

N: It’s—it’s my old neighborhood!

G: Ig, it’s your ol’ neighborhood!

E: Bloody hell…I didn’t bargain for any of this….

G: Well, Ebegoogoo—

E: That’s Ebegneeezer to you, old chap—

G: Well, Ebegoogoo, didn’t no one tell ya to hold onto me an’ the Ig back on your Planet HyenaZitania when we were escapin’ back to our lousy dimension of Perswayssick County, did they? You holdin’ onto us ’cause you were scared of your own dopey bodyguard Jerko, that made ya transfer back to Perswayssick County wit’ us! We didn’t stinkin’ wan’cha! Nobody stinkin’ wants ya!

[E & G in unison]:

E: Put a sock in it, you daft fool. First I end up your inferior Perswayssick County, then through your gross incompetence, Opposite Earth, and then here on Earth Girl’s planet Earth—what a series of misadventures!

G: La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you! La, la, la, I can’t hear you!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

N: C’mon, guys! Stop fighting and let’s go catch that duck!

SFX: [FootstepsRunning]

N: Look at all those cardboard goblins taped to doors and windows! And jack-o’-lanterns on just about every stoop!

G: I love them Earth pumpkins—they’re jus’ like the ones in them books I read once!

SFX: [Crowd, Small]

G: An’ look at all them funny-lookin’ little people! 

N: Those are kids, in Halloween costumes.

SFX: [Crowd, Children, Laugh]

G: Them stinkin’ Earth kids are laaaughin’ at me! 

F: No, they’re not, Zig. They’re jus’ havin’ a good time, like kids should!

SFX: [Crowd, Children, Laugh]

KID: We like your costume—it’s real funny! Where’d ya get it?

G: Ain’t no costume! I’ll show them!

SFX: [FootstepsRunning] [Slip] [Slip & Fall] [Duck Horn] [Crowd, Small] [Crowd, Children, Laugh]

G: They made me fall on my lousy bimbus!

F: Now they’re laughin’ at’cha!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

N: C’mon guys! Let’s just catch that duck! 

SFX: [FootstepsRunning]

E: And then, bloody what, Earth Girl? Our spacecraft has dematerialized, as well as the wormhole that brought us here! 

F: Jus’ caught the duck!

SPACE DUCK: Quack! Quack!

N: Look! It’s my street! Walnut Terrace! That house on the corner—that’s where I live! I wonder if Rico, my landlord, is still there? I owe him—and my whole family—an explanation! I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been away, stranded in the dimension of Perswayssick County! Must be a couple years! 

SFX: [FootstepsRunning]

N: Diroctor Gneeecey—what are you doing? That’s the door to my basement apartment! No—don’t!

SFX: [Doorbell] [DoorPounds] [Door open]

G: Trick or treat, smell my feet, gimme somethin’ good to eat! Ain’t that what youse Earth people say ’round this time of the year?

NICKI 2: You? What are you doing here again?

N: Holy crap! Who are you?

N2: Who are you?

E: Bloody hell—there are two Earth Girls! We’re back on Earth—regular Earth!

G: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! Two Igs! We stinkin’ must be back on her planet—regoogular Earth! 

N: I—I didn’t mean to be gone so long! Is Mom okay? I—I don’t even know why I asked that! I don’t even know who you are! I—I don’t understand…what’s going on here? 

N2: If the whole bunch of you don’t leave right now, I’m calling the cops!

SFX: [Fail Horn] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###