Say What? Adventures on Opposite Earth

“Say What? Adventures on Opposite Earth,” Episode 167

After crunching their way through glassy red grass, followed by three-headed purple alien Headless, Nicki and her canine-humanoid companions, Gneeecey, Sooperflea, and Ebegneeezer finally meet up with Opposite Earth’s leader—uh, make that, “their taker.” Even after Headless translates the jabberwocky flowing out of the fuzzy orange being’s mouth, Nicki and her three canine-humanoid companions remain clueless.  

Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

Episode Artwork created by ChatBox AI

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Transcript

Transcript / Say What? Adventures on Opposite Earth – Episode 166, by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2024 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Space Exploration] [SciFi Glimmer]

NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In last week’s episode, “Sweet Surprise,” human Nicki Rodriguez looked on in disbelief as her canine-humanoid companions “Zig” Gneeecey, his evil doppelganger from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, and “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge, also known as “Sooperflea,” ate a sleek red sportscar that was actually a cake on wheels. 

Just like everything else on Opposite Earth, nothing made sense as Nicki and her companions, followed by three-headed purple alien Headless, crunched their way through glassy red grass, in search of the bizarre planet’s leader….

When Gneeecey had demanded that Headless take them to his leader, the purple, three-headed guy replied, “No. I will follow you,” then added, “Actually, I misspoke. You will lead me to your taker.”

SFX: [Underwater Bubbles] [Crow]

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: What is that up there in the sky? Looks like a cloud-shaped black liquid pool, filled with white birds!

HEADLESS: This means we have arrived at your taker’s palace. 

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: That don’t look like no palace to meee! It jus’ looks like a common outhouse! Even has a lousy half moon carved on its door!

FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: Yeah! This can’t be—

H: Oh, but it is.

SFX: [Door Wood]

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: The bloody door—it’s opening all by itself!

N: Holy crap!

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl] 

G: Hey, guy wit’ three heads, this don’t look like no leader!

H: I already told you, you were leading me to your taker. This is his palace!

N: I—I don’t understand! 

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl]

G: I don’t understand neitherwise—an’ like I awready said, this ain’t no palace! It’s a stinkin’ outhouse!

F: An’ he’s jus’ a fuzzy orange monster—

G: An’ he’s sittin’ on a golden terlit! Looks real expensive!

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl]

E: And he seems to be in a bloody bad mood!

H: Quiet! Urgl is your taker, and he is going to speak.

G: If ya don’t mind me askin’, three-headed purple guy, how is that spelled?

H: U-R-G-L.

G: That’s a pretty consonant-rich name. I got lotsa vowels in my name. Back where I come from, an’ I trade daily in the Alphabet Market—y’know, down on ZugZwang Street, vowels are more valuable an’—

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl]

N: Diroctor Gneeecey, just let him speak. We need to find out more about this place, and we need to find out how we can find our spaceship, so we can—

G: Shaddup, Ig.

N: Name’s Nicki, not Ig, and I’m the leader of Perswayssick County. You’re not the leader of Perswayssick County anymore. I’m the Grate Gizzy, now. I won the election. Remember?

G: You’re only lousy leader of Perswayssick County tempooporarily, till I can run again. An’ since we’re proboobably at least a zillion miles away from there right now, I forth-hensically declarizate myself leader while we’re here. 

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl]

H: Let Urgl speak.

G: Stinkin’ whatever. Speak, Urgl, speak.

URGL: My telephone just rode a cow to your moon. 

N, G, & F [in unison]: Say what?

E: Bloody come again, old chap?

F: How can a telephone ride a cow to our moon?

G: Shaddup, Fleaglossitty. How can a telephone ride a cow to our moon? I don’t understaaand. Maybe he understands Booolabeeezian. I am quite fluent in Booolabeeezian. It’s an ol’ language wit’ roots in the Bozovian region of Planet Eccchs, where I came from. Okay, Urgl, blaugh rrrruckm blooon grappf. Ploofengrompf. Hmmm…. Don’t think he understandicates. He’s jus’ givin’ me a blank stare.

U: My telephone just rode a cow to your moon. Not over it but onto it. 

H: What Urgl means to say is that he may help you recover your spaceship, but first you must bring him something.

U: My goat is a dog because the squirrel has a faster glass suitcase.

N, G, & F [in unison]: Say what?

E: Say bloody what?

H: Do not disrespect your taker by questioning him, or he may not help you.

N: But—but—we really don’t understand what he means!

G: Shaddup, Ig. Now, we really don’t understandicate what he means!

H: Urgl says in order for him to help you, you must bring him back something.

G: Stinkin’ what? 

H: You must recover a valuable, missing silver gloog, and place it in his hands. 

F: What’s a gloog? 

G: Quiet, Fleaglossitty. I’m in charge here. Stinkin’ what’s a gloog?

U: This is all a mistaken backache filled with grape syrup.

H: He means that you will know it when you see it, and that is all. You must comply if there is to be any hope for you.

SFX: [Animal Lion] [Monster, Growl] [Magic Puff x 2] [Reverse Magical Spell] [Magic Glitter]

G & F [in unison]: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe!

N: They’re gone—they both jus’ dematerialized!

E: Even the bloody outhouse dematerialized—right before our eyes! 

SFX: [Space Exploration] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###