It's You!

“It’s You!” – Episode 80

 Gneeecey freaks out over his kidnapped stuffed (with cash) teddy bear Yammicles, as a spy balloon floats above his mansion. And that creepy night, he, Sooperflea, and Nicki meet up with some strange but strangely familiar folks.  

We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean and Sammie for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say! 

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And many thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

This Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy podcast is made possible in part by a generous grant from The Ardelle Institute, providing Executive Coaching for aspiring and established professionals who want to develop their careers, including upwardly-mobile executives, professionals who may be in between jobs, and college graduates transitioning to the workforce. The Ardelle Institute helps with resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, interview skills, and effective job search strategies.  For more information, please call (201) 394-6939, that's (201) 394-6939, or visit them on the web at ardelle-institute.com, that's A-R-D-E-L-L-E dash institute dot com. Take it from me, Gneeecey!

Transcript

Transcript /It’s You! – Episode 80, written by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2023 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. 

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Toilet Flush] {Door Open]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Yaaaaaaaaaaah! Oh, it’s only yooooou, Fleaglossitty!

SOOPERFLEA, AKA FLEA, AKA FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE: Who were ya expectin’, Zig? Saint Bogelthorpe in the flesh?

G: Don’t get intelligent wit’ me! Saint Bogelthorpe wouldn’t have scared me like that!

F: Is this the thanks I get?

G: For whaaat, Fleaglossitty?

F: Y’know, Zig, I chased that donkey on the blue tricycle outta the house here. An’ I got ridda that upside-down-flyin’ duck, too. Found him passed out—his beak was still in that flat beer that rotten Nurse Maudlyn left behind when she disappeared into thin air.  I picked the duck up an’ brought him outside. He’s probably still sleepin’ it off.

G: Well, don’t touch nuthin’ ’round here till ya wash your hands. 

F: That’s what I was gonna do, Zig, till ya hollered an’ made me jump twenny feet into the air.

G: If I made ya jump twenny feet, your dopey head would be stuck in the lousy ceilin’ up there. I’ll try harder next time. 

F: Thanks, Zig. 

G: You’re smellcome, Fleaglossitty.

F: Zig, I know you’re upset, so I’ll give ya a pass. Now, Nicki an’ I are gonna stay here wit’ ya in your room tonight to make sure you’re okay.

G: FYI! FYI! FYI, Fleaglossitty! FYI! 

F: For my information, what, Zig?

G: Ya dope, FYI stands for “Find Yammicles Immediately!” An’ as my best friend, that’s what you’re gonna dooo—stinkin’ immediately!

F: Zig, I swear on my tail—an’ yours—that I’m doin’ everything possible to, number one, find out who’s tryin’ to blackmail ya wit’ them recordings of your most embarrassin’ moments, number two, find out who’s constantly spammin’ ya wit’ them cryptocurrency phone calls, number three, what competitors are behind that opening of that Rasputin’s Revenge Restaurant across from your Gneeezle’s, number four, are there any of them nasty alien Markmen gangsters still around after Nicki an’ I vaporized ’em? An’ number five, why are them evil clowns, Sulak the Demon Clown of Bathrooms an’ that none-foot-tall three-armed, three-legged clown Three back when Nick an’ I thought we made them disintegrate—

G: Ya stinkin’ make it look like you’re doin’ so much, Fleaglossitty—

F: I am, an’ I ain’t finished! Number six, where is your crafty, no-good, power-hungry double from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeeceygnay, hidin’?    

G: Ya mean, my hideous double?

F: Yeah, Zig. Your hideous double. 

G: Are you implooplicatin’ that I’m hideous?

F: No, Zig. I’m jus’ agreein’ wit’ ya. Now, where’s he hidin’ an’ what’s the next move he’s plannin’? An’ number seven, how can we best rebuild Perswayssick City after them ten-foot-tall kangaroos ya accidentally invented destroyed half of it—

G: Ya mean the kanga-dyno-roos I accidentally invented—

F: Yeah, Zig, those. An’ number eight, now, accordin’ to Doctor Idnas an’ Grandma, there’s some kind of stupid-lookin’ clown head spy balloon flyin’ right over your house here—

G: Ya mean, my mansion—

F: There’s an idiotic clown head spy balloon flyin’ right over your mansion—

G: SFX: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying]

F: Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey! Stop cryin’! You an’ I are canine-humanoids! We are stronger than this! Now, number nine, where in Bogelthorpe’s name did that horrible rotten Nurse Maudlyn disappear to, right before our very eyes?

G: Wit’ my teddy bear, Yammicles!

F: Y’know, I graduated wit’ honors from the Perswayssick Superhero Academy, but some of this may be above my pay grade! It’s a whole lot for one superhero to handle, ain’t it?

G: Well, Fleaglossitty, you stinkin’ better make findin’ my Yammicles your biggest priority! I love that teddy bear! He’s faaamily! Plus, I got a couple zillion dollars stuffed inside him!

SFX: [Door Slam] [Magic Spell] [Cuckoo Clock]

F: Okay, Zig, time for bed, now. Don’t worry. Like I said, Nicki an’ I are stayin’ right here in your room so you’ll feel safe.  An’ ya might wanna move that tire an’ pizza box outta your bed so you’ll get a better night of rest.

G: Stinkin’ whatever, Fleaglossitty.

F: You’re welcome, Zig.

G: I am? Anyways, youse two can sleep on them deflated air mattresses down there. Got holes in ’em. They don’t blow up no more.

F: Gee, thanks, Zig.

G: Well, Fleaglossitty, ya don’t gotta say it like that, so oogdimonious.

F: Ain’cha even gonna take your sneakers off, Zig?

G: Nah, Fleaglossitty. What if I suddenly gotta run somewheres in the middle of my sleep?

F: For Bogelthorpe’s sake—

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Aw, c’mon, guys, let’s just go to sleep now. I think a good night of sleep will proboobably…ugh….

G: An’ that’s another probooblem for ya to solve, Fleaglossitty. Ya gotta find out why the Ig—

N: Uh, that would be Nicki—

G: Ya gotta find out why the Ig here is suddenly talkin’ all funny—y’know, like me. Evoovidently, she’s got ooglitis, like me, now. Y’know, infected speech. Her talkin’ is funny regoogularly, now!

F: Like yours.

G: Didn’t ask for your input.

F: Jus’ my help, as always. You heard Doctor Idnas say that Nicki’s speech problem is most likely caused by exposure to Perswayssick County’s toxic, gumpy ever-present mierk, plus her severe dimension burn, an’ importantly, stress. Now, go to sleep!

G: I can’t! FYI! FYI! FYI! Free Yammicles Immediately! SFX: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying]

N: Oh, Flea….

F: Don’t worry, Nicki, he’ll cry himself to sleep.

SFX: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying] [Cartoon Snoring]

F: Sure enough, Nicki…. Didn’t even need my superhero ESP to predict that!

N: Proboobably not…oh…ugh….

SFX: [Rockabye Piano] [Snoring] [Electron Leaves] 

G: Yaaaaaah! What’s out there?

F: Don’t know, Zig, don’t know!

SFX: [Sharp Eerie Logo] [Electron Leaves] 

N: Sounds like someone walking—right under our window here! 

F: Yeah, c’mon, guys, let’s take a look out there! Keep the lights off!

N & G [in unison]: Yeah!

F: Let’s jus’ look out the window!

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers]

N: Holy—

F: Saint—

G: Bogelthorpe!

SFX: [Sharp Eerie Logo]

G: It’s yoooou!

F: An’ it’s yooou!

N: And it’s you! It’s us three down there looking at us three up here!

SFX: [Terror Tension]

F: I’m goin’ outside to investigate this!

N: I’m coming with you, Flea!

G: It’s too scary. Youse two go out. I’ll wait for youse here!

F: Okay, Zig. You stay here in this big four-floor, many-roomed mansion all alone, all by yourself, wit’ no one at all to help ya. C’mon, Nicki. Let’s go.

G: Okay, okay, ya convinced me. Let’s go. 

SFX: [Sharp Eerie Logo] [Electron Leaves] 

F: It is creepy out here. 

N: Sure is, Flea. Hey, what’s that grabbing onto my leg?

G: Jus’ me, Ig. I’m holdin’ onto to ya, y’know, to protect ya. 

F: Wowzickles—look up above the house!

G: Ya mean mansion, Fleaglossitty.

F: Look up above the mansion!

N: It’s the spy balloon—all lit up from inside! Doctor Idnas said it was in the shape of a clown’s head—

F: An’ in a way, she was right! It’s a gigantic balloon of Zig’s head! White an’ black, wit’ triangular ears an’ bulgy eyes!

N & F [in unison]: It’s you!

G: How dare youse—

F: Wait, guys! Look!

N: What, Flea?

F: Look up there—in our bedroom window, where we jus’ were!

SFX: [Sharp Eerie Logo]

G: Someone’s gotten into my maaansion!

F: Lemme unclip my trusty high-intensity super-duper superhero flashlight from my utility belt! SFX: [Metal Click 4] [Terror Tension]

G: Stinkin’ holy Saint Bogelthorpe! 

F: It can’t be!

N: It’s us! The three of us—looking down at…the three of us!

SFX: [Sharp Eerie Logo] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]

We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com. 

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###