“The Shocking Truth” – Episode 88
Team Gneeecey—“Zig” Gneeecey and his double—are fixing to fight Team Fleaglossitty—“Sooperflea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge and his double—again. Meanwhile, stranded earthling Nicki Rodriguez and her antagonistic double continue arguing as they hover over Hackensack, New Jersey—Nicki’s old neighborhood. Surprisingly, Nicki seems unable—or unwilling—to choose to return to her world.
She does, in the end, become privy to a shocking truth.
We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean and Sammie for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say!
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Transcript / The Shocking Truth – Episode 88, written by Vicki Solá.
All content © 2023 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.
Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….
SFX: [Magic Spell][Wind]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: We left our stranded earthling Nicki Rodriguez and her antagonistic double up in the air, literally, in our last episode, “Sittin’ on Our Brains.” Tossed about by supernatural winds, hovering high up above Hackensack, New Jersey, near Nicki’s old Earth neighborhood, the two lookalikes argue. Ever since she’s been stranded in the wacky, unearthly dimension of Perswayssick County, Nicki’s most cherished dream has been to return to her life in “regular New Jersey.” Now that her dream is within actual reach, she’s not so sure. And her hesitation infuriates her disbelieving double….
NICKI RODRIGUEZ 2: What’s the matter? It’s freezing cold, blowing around up here in the sky like this! Let’s land! Now! Well? Don’t tell me that we’re gonna return to the dimension of Perswayssick County! Don’t tell me we can’t bear to leave Sooperflea, Gneeecey, and the rest of them there!
NICKI RODRIGUEZ: I’ve—I’ve made my life there. I miss my old life, but I don’t feel like I fit in here anymore! Maybe—maybe, I can visit my family and friends and tell them I’ve been away on a secret mission and that I can only stay a little while. That way, they’ll know I’m okay.
N2: We both have to agree here—you understand? Or there’s no hope for us! We both have to agree to stay here in our regular New Jersey! Now! Do we? Well?
N2: Looks like you just wanna stay stuck, don’cha! If you don’t return to your regular world here, I can’t either! What’s wrong with you, you stupid fool?
N: How dare you!
N2: You’re selfish and thoughtless. I guess you’ve forgotten all about your jobs at your two radio stations down there in our “regular New Jersey,” and our poor boyfriend Carlos—
N: Maybe I have.
N2: That’s right. You’re too interested in that Cleve Wheeler guy you work with at Gneeecey’s stupid GAS Broadcast Network, where you get paid pennies. Poor Carlos. You ever wonder what he’s going through? How you’ve hurt him? Well, I guess you’re too good for him and everyone else back home in your old world now.
N: I’ve heard just about enough!
N2: Hey—get away from me—don’t you dare float any closer to me!
N: Since when do I take orders from you?
N2: That’s your problem! Don’t you freaking get it? You’re always at war with yourself! And I guess you stopped caring about your mom and your family—now you care more about those mangy canine-humanoid mutts Gneeecey and Sooperflea than you do about your own mother—the woman who brought you into this world and—
N: How dare you—
N2: No! No! Don’t come one inch closer. Don’t touch me—if you do, we’ll both—we’ll both—
N: Look—look—maybe I’ll think about some of the things you’ve said. Okay?
N2: Okay, that is a start.
N: I’ll even shake hands with you, now, if you just go away and leave me alone! Here—
SFX: [Laser] [Sci-Fi Laser] [Closing] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Meanwhile, back in “Zig” Gneeecey’s high-tech vacation cabin hidden away in the wooded mountains of Perswayssick County’s region of Booolabeeezia, “Sooperflea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge and his double watch as Team Gneeecey—Gneeecey and his double—execute their wacky plan to supercharge their brains by repeatedly falling onto their bimbusses. They believe this will further activate their brain cells and enable them to come up with an ingenious scheme to recover their stolen two zillion dollars in cash.
DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG’ GNEEECEY: I am thinkin’ better awready! Even though I’m rippin’ up my pants! SFX: [Cartoon Slip] [Slip and Fall] [Duck Horn] [Fabric Tear]
G2: Me too! I feel all them, y’know, neural connections, them synapses, jumpin’ ’round quicker each time my trousers split! SFX: [Cartoon Slip] [Slip and Fall] [Duck Horn] [Fabric Tear]
G: Yupperooney! Sal was right! I feel them neurons lightin’ up more awready! My bimbus is burnin’ hot! Two zillion buckarooneys, here we come!
G & G2 [in unison]: Yee haw!
SFX: [Cartoon Slip x2] [Slip and Fall x2] [Duck Horn x2] [Fabric Tear x2]
“SOOPERFLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE: Well, Zig an’ Zig, have youse two done anything here but rip up your trousers by jumpin’ up an’ fallin’ down on your bimbusses repeatedly?
F2: Yeah. Are youse two any smarter now?
G: Don’t get intelligent wit’ meee, youse two Fleaglossittys. Youse should both try it!
F: Well, did youse come up wit’ a plan—y’know, to recover your missin’ two zillion dollars in cash —
G & G2 [in unison]: Stolen! Stolen two zillion dollars in cash!
F: Okay, did youse come up wit’ a plan to recover your stolen two zillion dollars in cash?
G & G2 [in unison]: An’ the mon-ney’s all mine! No—the mon-ney’s all mine!
F2: Remember, before youse two Zigs started fallin’ on your bimbusses, youse both decided youse needed to find the money first, an’ then youse could fight over it?
F: Yeah, my other me, I even heard ’em. They did state that intention prior to repeatedly an’ intentionally fallin’ on their bimbusses.
G: An’ may I stinkin’ remind both of youse dopey Fleaglossittys that the plural of bimbus is not bimbusses? It’s bimbii! Do me an’ my other me gotta pound that into your brainless heads?
G2: Yeah! Do we gotta doooo thaaat?
F & F2 [in unison]: Come over here an’ say that!
SFX: [Crash Metal] [Metal Crash] [Glass Debris]
G& G2 [in unison]: We are stinkin’ over here!
G2: An’ our lousy kitchen that youse guys messed up—we’re gonna clean it up wit’ youse two!
SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Angels from Heaven] [Heavenly Drone]
N: Where…where am I? And that other me? Where is she? I hope she’s gone….
ZINFANDEL, VOICE FROM THE SKY: She is not gone, my friend.
N: What? Where’s that—that voice coming from?
Z: She has always been part of you. She has just remerged with you.
N: Who…who are you?
Z: Don’t you remember me? I am Zinfandel.
N: I—I have a slight memory…. I can’t see you. I can only hear you. This crazy gold light is practically blinding me!
Z: You’re not supposed to see me.
Z: You met me back in the dimension of Whatever-You-Want-Land, remember?
N: You’re—you’re the leader of Gneeecey’s and Flea’s Planet Eccchs, aren’t you?
Z: Yes, but I am even much more than that! I am known in many dimensions!
N: Are—are you some type of wizard?
Z: Some say that I am. I, however, have just nurtured skills that we all have. And I’m still perfecting them. This is a never-ending process.
N: Isn’t Gneeecey, y’know, scared of you because you charged him with helping return his stranded citizens of Perswayssick County back to Planet Eccchs, and he hasn’t been doing that? If you’re like a wizard, why can’t you just return your citizens back to Planet Eccchs yourself?
Z: I can only serve as a guide. I do not judge Gneeecey. No one, not even I, cannot deny Gneeecey his free will. He must grow from within of his own accord. As you must.
N: And—and—getting back to me, what did you mean when you said that other me—that horrible other me—has remerged with me?
Z: You and she are one again.
N: Huh? I don’t understand. What do you mean, that other horrible me and I are one again? She’s one of the nastiest, most disgusting people I’ve ever met! I hope I never see her again!
Z: Do you want to know the truth, Nicki, the shocking truth?
N: I—I always want to know the truth. I can handle it.
Z: Well, the other you did come forth with some truths.
N: Hearing that really doesn’t make me feel very good!
Z: Do you want to know, or do you prefer to remain ignorant?
N: I—I—of course, I want to know. I need to know. Please.
Z: Brace yourself, then, Nicki.
Z: The truth that will shock you is as follows. You and that other Nicki are one and the same. She is but your shadow side. We and our shadow sides are usually inseparable. Confronting our shadow selves is a rare gift afforded to few. In your case, and in Gneeecey’s and Sooperflea’s cases, this has occurred most likely due to severe dimension burn coupled with extreme stress.
N: I—I don’t know what to say or even what to think….
Z: You don’t have to say or think anything. You are a conflicted person, as many of us are. You will, in time, reconcile with yourself. You will then grow into your powers. Be true to yourself. Be your own friend. See and accept both sides. And don’t ever forget, as your shadow self admonished, that you possess considerable powers. Use them or lose them. Now, what say you?
N: I—I don’t know what to say. This is all kind of beyond my comprehension—
Z: I will give you one more gift before I let you return, of your free will, where that larger part of your heart chooses to be right now. If you truly choose to utilize your powers, you will be able to function in both of the worlds that you love, whenever you wish, with success.
N: Huh? Is there—is there a way that you and I can stay in touch?
Z: Now, I’ve probably told you too much! Be off, then!
SFX: [Closing] [Magic Glitter] [Magic Spell] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo]
G: I repeat, the lousy plural of bimbus ain’t bimbusses! it’s bimbii! An’ looky how youse messed up this here kitchen—there’s gigaaantical piles of busted stuff all over this floor—ya can’t even see it! An’ youse even knocked my stinkin’ refrigerator over! Like we said, we’re really gonna fix youse two Fleaglossittys!
F & F2 [in unison]: An’ we Fleaglossittys here jus’ said, come over here an’ say that!
G& G2 [in unison]: An’ weee jus’ said, we are stinkin’ over here!
SFX: [Magic Glitter]
G, G2, F, & F2 [in unison]: What the—
SFX: [Supersonic Aerodynamic Woosh] [Crash Metal] [Metal Crash] [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris]
G, G2, F, & F2 [in unison]: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe!
G& G2 [in unison]: It’s the Ig!
F & F2 [in unison]: Nicki!
G: Ya didn’t even bust the lousy ceilin’ here when ya fell on your bimbus in this busted junk! How’d ya get in?
F: An’ where’s your other self?
F2: Are ya okay?
N: Guys…guys… I’m okay…kind of. It’s—it’s a long story, but I have news for you. Shocking news.
G, G2, F, & F2 [in unison]: Whaaat?
N: Well, here’s the shocking truth. Our doubles are not really separate from ourselves. Our doubles are our shadow sides! They’ve manifested as separate entities to teach us! They’re trying to teach us to make peace with ourselves!
F: Well, me an’ my double been gettin’ along priddy good lately, right, my other self?
F2: Yeah, other me. I helped ya figure out why we been havin’ trouble wit’ our superhero flyin’ feature!
F: Yeah, other myself. We discovered that we’re afraid if we take off an’ fly, we might not be able to land wit’out crashin’! High-five me, my other self!
F2: Sure, pal!
SFX: [Laser] [Sci-Fi Laser] [Closing]
F: I’m back into myself! There’s only one of me again!
G: The Ig always brings trouble! Stinkin’ get away from me, ya other me! I don’t like youse an’ I never will! Nebberd-kinnezzard, like we say back on Planet Eccchs! Means extra-never! Stinkin’ get away from me!
SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell]
We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.
And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing!
Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###