“More Double Trouble” – Episode 84
It’s doppelganger-palooza. More double trouble. Marooned earthling Nicki Rodriguez and her canine-humanoid companions “Zig” Gneeecey and “Sooperflea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge encounter their doubles again. Sooperflea and Gneeecey fear that these intruders may have arrived from an antimatter universe. Ignoring the two as they plead with her not to confront her own other self, Nicki makes what could be a deadly choice for them all.
We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean and Sammie for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say!
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Transcript / More Double Trouble – Episode 84, written by Vicki Solá.
All content © 2023 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.
Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….
SFX: [Magic Spell] [Terror Tension]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In our last episode, “Game Over?”, marooned earthling Nicki Rodriguez and her canine-humanoid companions “Zig” Gneeecey and “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge not only encounter the doubles of themselves that have been plaguing them everywhere they go, but…they’re shocked to see that Gneeecey’s long-missing evil doppelganger from Planet HyenaZitania, Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay, has returned. And he’s onstage, surrounded by cheering citizens, as he attempts to take charge of Perswayssick County. Then, Nicki, Flea, and an angry Gneeecey spot their seemingly omnipresent doubles in the crowd….
SFX: [Applause] [Logo Eerie Sharp]
NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Holy crap—look over there—it’s the three other us!
“FLEA” FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE, AKA “SOOPERFLEA”: An’ look Zig, the other you—his trousers are split right down the back, jus’ like yours!
DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: An’ that other lousy me looks real, real maaad—jus’ like I stinkin’ am right now!
N: And the other me just turned around, and—
F: —an’ she’s lookin’ at us!
N: I’ve had enough of this! I am not afraid of myself! I refuse to be afraid of myself. She looks as freaked out as I am! I’m going over there and having a word with that other me!
G: Ig, don’t go talkin’ to yourself over there! I order ya! Stay here an’ talk to your regoogular self like ya usually do—under your breath! You’ll kill us all!
N: Since when do I take orders from you, Diroctor Gneeecey? Here I go.
F & G [in unison]: Nooooooooooo! SFX: [Terror Tension]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: Flea and Gneeecey had begged a determined Nicki not to make contact with her double, warning that if their other selves were composed of antimatter, any actual contact with them could cause a phenomenon known as mutual annihilation.
SFX: [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Utter Astonish Shock]
G: Looky, Fleaglossitty—
F: It’s Nicki confrontin’ the other Nicki! An’ look—our two doubles are runnin’ away—they must be smarter than us! They don’t wanna find out ’bout mutual annihilation firsthand!
G: Maybe they’re smarter than yooou, Fleaglossitty, but ain’t no one smarter than meee. Looky! Looky! Them two Igs are fixin’ to fight! Ya warned the lousy Ig not to stinkin’ do this—we’re all gonna die!
SFX: [Dramatic Space Ambience (Sci-Fi Ambience)]
N: I wanna know, and I’m gonna ask you nicely, what are you doing in my world? Why are you guys constantly following us?
NICKI RODRIGUEZ 2: Your world? This is my world. What are you doing in it?
N: I wanna know why you’re following me everywhere I go.
N2: Because you’re going everywhere I’m going and getting there first. I am gonna put a stop to that!
N: Oh, really?
N: Well, I’m afraid you’ve met your match.
N2: Well, I’m not afraid. And y’know, maybe I’m here to tell you that you’ve been living your life all wrong. And you’ve forgotten that you possess special powers!
N: Well, you just reminded me!
SFX: [Utter Astonish Shock]
G: Looky! They’re stinkin’ grabbin’ at each other!
F: Ooooh, nooooo! Nicki! Nicki! Don’t touch her! Pleeeeease!
G: Get back here right now, ya Ig! This is your boss, meee, orderin’ ya!
SFX: [Sci-Fi Laser] [Laser] [Utter Astonish Shock]
F: It looks like they’re both paralyzed! An’ their hands are connected an’ stuck together by some weird, glowin’ electrical force—
G: Yeah! A couple of blindin’ supernatural lightnin’ bolts—they’re so bright they’re hurtin’ my dopey eyes! Yaaaaaaaah!
SFX: [Sci-Fi Laser] [Laser] [Magic Glitter] [Utter Astonish Shock]
F: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! Nicki an’ her double—they both jus’ disappeared!
G: Into stinkin’ thin air! Jus’ like thaaat! Run for your life, Fleaglossitty—we’re all gonna die!
SFX: [Logo Eerie Sharp] [Magic Spell] [Sad Strings]
F: Poor Nicki! What are we gonna do?
G: We told her not to get near that other herself! But she did—an’ she touched her!
SFX: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying x 2]
ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE: Two hundred-fiftieth floor.
SFX: [Elevator Chime] [Sneakers Squeaking]
G: Okay, Fleaglossitty, let’s go lock ourselves in my office an’ try an’ figure out what we’re stinkin’ gonna do next!
F: Okay, Zig. Lucky we caught that cab to Vompt Boulevard—would’ve been too far to walk!
G: An’ lucky them other usses weren’t awready inside the lousy cab. Too bad your superhero flyin’ feature ain’t workin’—now when we really need it.
F: I’m sorry, Zig.
G: Not as sorry as meee.
F: I’m aware of my present deficiencies, Zig. No need to rub it in. Got your keys?
G: Stinkin’ yeah.
SFX: [Door Lock Unlock Keys] [Door Open] [Logo Eerie Sharp]
F: —Saint Bogelthorpe!
F: The other you—sittin’ at your desk—
G: Wit’ his lousy, stinkin’ feet up on it!
SFX: [Large Shatter Window] [Glass Shatter]
F: An’ look—the other me! He jus’ flew out the window there—flew out that closed window! An’ it didn’t even break!
G: Heee had no trouble flyin’—
SFX: [Door Slam] [Door Lock Unlock Keys]
G: Oh, stinkin’ noooo! The lousy door jus’ slammed shut behind us!
F: An locked! All by itself!
SFX: [Logo Eerie Sharp]
F: An’ that other you is lookin’ at us real mean, Zig!
G: What in Bogelthorpe’s name are yooou lookin’ at, ya lousy make-believe fake meee?
DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY 2: You’re the lousy make-believe fake imposter!
G: No, yooou stinkin’ are!
G2: Nah, yooou stinkin’ are! An’ yooou know it!
G: An’ get your crummy feet offa my desk! Only I can put my stinkin’ feet up on my desk! Yooou ain’t the real meee!
G2: Oh, I aaam. I’m even more like yooou than yooou are!
G: You tryin’ to tell me I should be more like myself? Well, I’m the real me, an’ you ain’t!
F: Zig, I hate to interrupt your fight wit’ your other self there, but look—there’s your missin’ teddy bear Yammicles sittin’ right on top of the desk!
G: My Yaaaamicles—stuffed wit’ my two zillion dollars in cash! I’m takin’ back my Yaaammicles! Right now!
G2: Stinkin’ no, you ain’t!
G & G2 [in unison]: He’s mine!
G: No, he ain’t! I am gonna march right up to my desk an’ take him! Right now!
F: Zig! Nooo! Remember what happened to Nicki when she confronted her double? This other you here is probably made of antimatter particles! That teddy bear could be an antimatter double, too!
G: I ain’t losin’ two zillion bucks in cash!
F: Ya could kill yourself! An’ me!
G: I could die wit’out my mon-ney! My mon-ney or my life…my mon-ney or my life... Ya lousy make-believe fake meee, here I come! Get your filthy haaands offa my bear!
G2: You’ll hafta take him outta my filthy haaands!
G: I stinkin’ will then!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking]
SFX: [Sci-Fi Laser] [Laser] [Magic Glitter]
F: Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! They all jus’ disappeared! Zig, his double, an’ that teddy bear—they’re all gone! SFX: [Logo Eerie Sharp] I am so outta here! SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Large Shatter Window] [Glass Shatter] [Terror Tension] [Logo Eerie Sharp] [Magic Spell]
We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.
And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing!
Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###