“Laughter Is the Best Medicine” - Episode 66
Feverish, dimension-burned Nicki, Flea, and Gneeecey continue to be at the mercy of incompetent Doctor Frombilagonga and rotten Nurse Maudlyn in Perswayssick County’s only medical facility, Florence Ferguson Memorial Hospital. In the end (you’ll see whose), laughter proves to be the best medicine—quite literally.
We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean and Sammie for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say!
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https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)
https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)
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This Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy podcast is made possible in part by a generous grant from The Ardelle Institute, providing Executive Coaching for aspiring and established professionals who want to develop their careers, including upwardly-mobile executives, professionals who may be in between jobs, and college graduates transitioning to the workforce. The Ardelle Institute helps with resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, interview skills, and effective job search strategies. For more information, please call (201) 394-6939, that's (201) 394-6939, or visit them on the web at ardelle-institute.com, that's A-R-D-E-L-L-E dash institute dot com. Take it from me, Gneeecey!
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Vicki's related comedy/fantasy/sci-fi books, You Can't Unscramble the Omlet and The Getaway That Got Away are available at Amazon!
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It's a one-woman show! Vicki does all the writing, character voices, and audio production!
Transcript / “Laughter Is the Best Medicine”- Episode 66, written by Vicki Solá.
All content © 2022 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.
Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….
SFX: [Magic Spell] [Hospital Room Ambience] [Electronic Button] [Intarface 2]
NARRATOR VICKI SOLÁ: In last week’s episode, “I See U,” stranded earthling Nicki Rodriguez and her two canine-humanoid companions “Flea” Fleaglossitty Floppinsplodge and Zig Gneeecey were unhappy patients admitted to Perswayssick County’s only medical facility, Florence Ferguson Memorial Hospital. Well, they still are unhappy patients. Feverish and diagnosed with dimension burn, the three find themselves in the intensive care unit, at the mercy of incompetent, cryptocurrency-loving Doctor Frombilagonga and sadistic, rotten Nurse Maudlyn.
SFX: [Magic Spell] [Hospital Room Ambience] [Electronic Button] [Intarface 2] [Explosion]
NICKI RODRIGUEZ & SOOPERFLEA, AKA FLEA, AKA FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE: [in unison]: What was that?
DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: What was thaaat?
NURSE MAUDLYN: Oh, just an explosion. SFX: [Male Screams 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5] [Scream]
G: Well, Nurse Maudlyn, wit’ all due disrespect, don’cha think ya should go check it out?
F: Or at least make a call an’ find out what happened?
NM: I don’t take orders from patients! Now, I am going to make a phone call to get all this shattered porcelain here cleaned up! Someone could get hurt! This hospital is already full of hurt people, y’know? SFX: [Cell Phone Dialing] [Dial Tone] Hello, maintenance? I need someone here in ICU immediately to clean up all the broken pieces of a motorized hospital toilet that one of my very impudent and uncooperative pediatric patients hijacked—and crashed into pieces!
G: I am not impoopudent an’ uncoopooperative! Stinkin’ dimension burn shrank me into a baby, but I am Diroctor Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey, Grate Gizzygalumpaggis of this here Perswayssick County! An’ I sign your lousy paychecks—
NM: They are lousy! Now, belt up! Put a sock in it! No—not you, maintenance—I was talking to the brainless brat who just crashed our motorized toilet! It leaked toilet water all over the floors, too! I need someone up here immediately!
G: Hey! I ain’t no brainless brat—I got lotsa brains!
PA SYSTEM: Maintenance to ICU! STAT! Maintenance to ICU! STAT! Spill in Aisle Six!
NM: And, now, little brat, time to administer your first of ten injections of Dimeosacion to neutralize and dissolve the dimes in your system that you can’t sneeze out anymore because you’ve turned into a baby—a rather obnoxious one—and your nasal passages shrank with you. [Evil Laugh] And I’m going to make sure you feel each injection! [Evil Laugh]
G: SFX: [Cartoon Baby]
NM: And, as for you two—
F: What about us two?
N: Yeah, what about us two?
NM: I’m only going to take a gallon or so of blood from each one of you to see if it’s still green, but not before I yank those green vines growing out of your ears so I can send them down to the lab to be analyzed.
SFX: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying] [Cartoon Baby] [Explosion] [Crash Metal] [Glass Shatter] [Bang] [Wood Demolition] [Creature Shrill Shrieks]
N & F [in unison] What was that?
G: Yeah—stinkin’ what was thaaat?
NURSE MAUDLYN: Oh, probably just another explosion. SFX: [Male Screams 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5] [Scream]
NM: Okay now, belt up and bend over, you little brat. Time for your first injection of Dimeosacion with my tiny, little needle here.
G: That needle don’t look tiny or little to me—it looks gigaaaantical! SFX: [Cartoon Baby]
F: Looks big enough to sedate an elephant!
M: I must warn you and your, uh, two companions here that Dimeosacion is known to have behavioral effects, primarily for those who already have behavior problems. Now, bend over!
PA SYSTEM: Nurse Maudlyn to ER! STAT! Nurse Maudlyn to ER! STAT!
NM: Uh-oh! I’m needed downstairs again! SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers]
G: Heya, rotten nurse, didn’t no one never tell ya, it’s dangerousical to run while you’re holdin’ a hypoopodermical needle?
SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers] [Slip] [Fabric Tear] [Slip and Fall] [Body Fall Human] [Duck Horn]
NM: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—ow!
G: Rotten Nurse Maudlyn jus’ fell on her lousy bimbus! Heh hah, heh haah, heh haaah!
F: An’ she fell right ontoppa her own needle—jus’ injected herself wit’ the shot meant for you, Zig!
G: That’s right, Fleaglossitty! Heh hah, heh haah, heh haaah!
N, F, & G: [laughing]
NM: Belt up, you three! Put a sock in it! I’ll teach all three of you a lesson you’ll never forget—you’ll be smiling on the other sides of your faces!
G: That would look kinda funny!
F: Yeah, I wonder if it could even be done!
NM: Oh…oh—I feel rather peculiar right now, but strangely liberated! I will teach this whole horrible hospital a lesson it will never forget!
SFX: [Elevator Bell]
N: Oh, look—I see Doctor Frombilagonga.
F: He’s makin’ his usual little detour down the hall there.
N: And he’s on his phone.
F: As usual….
SFX: [Toilet Flush] [Door Open]
F: I hope he washed his hands.
N: Doesn’t sound like it.
F: As usual….
NM: I’ll wash both of your mouths out. With soap. Hospital soap.
F: At least then the other sides of our faces will be clean!
N, F, & G: [laughing]
DOCTOR FROMBILAGONGA: Yah…I vant to buy some more cryptocurrency. Yah…okay, tank you. Goodbye, for now. Oh, hallo, Nurse Maudlyn. And hello, my tree favorite patients, vhat are your names again?
N: Doctor Frombilagonga, do you know what’s going on here in this hospital?
DF: Oh yah, just a couple of explosions. Now, I have your charts here. SFX: [Rustling Papers] I just vant to make sure who you are—
N: Explosions? Shouldn’t we all, y’know, evacuate?
DF: It vill be okay. Dee first explosion vas down een our specialty pharmacy—eet happens occasionally vhen meds get mixed up. And dee second vas due to a food fight een Food Services.
N: A food fight?
DF: Yah. Sometimes dee food gets a little boisterous and starts trowing eetself at each odder. No vurries. All ees under control except for a few serious injuries. But dee injured employees are in dee right place, no?
PA SYSTEM: Nurse Maudlyn to ER! STAT! Nurse Maudlyn to ER! STAT!
DF: Nurse Maudlyn, I do believe dey are paging you again. Vould you like me to halp you up?
NM: That won’t be necessary, Doctor Frombilagonga. I’m going to help you up!
DF: Vhat? I’m not sure dat I qvite understand.
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Bang] [Crash Metal] [Glass Debris] [Sneakers Squeaking]
DF: Aaaaaaaah! Haaaalp!
G: She jus’ kicked Doctor Frombilagonga in the bimbus—real hard—
F: —an’ sent him up all the way up to the ceiling!
N: And his head’s stuck in the light fixture! Look at him kicking his legs!
SFX: [Body Fall Human] [Bang] [Splash]
NM: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—ow!
F: Look! Nurse Maudlyn jus’ collided wit’ the maintenance guy an’ fell headfirst into the guy’s big bucket fulla some cleanin’ solution! SFX: [Underwater Bubbles]
N, F, & G: [laughing]
SFX: [Audience Laughing] [Applause]
N: Patients are out of their beds, laughing!
F: An’ here are our charts that Doctor Frombilagonga up there dropped on the floor. SFX: [Rustling Papers]
DF: Aaaaaaaah! Haaaalp! Haaaalp!
F: Says here in his handwriting to tell patients that they have green blood, so they gotta stay here longer!
N: And look—these plants growing out of our ears are plastic—they must’ve planted them in our ears when we were asleep! I just yanked them out!
G: Ah, hah, haah, fiduciary! SFX: [Clinking Coins] I jus’ sneezed out dimes again! An’ I don’t feel like I’m burnin’ up no more!
F: Me either! An’ Zig, you’re back to normal size again! Laughter is the best medicine!
N: Yeah! C’mon, guys—we are outta here!
SFX: [Sneakers Squeaking] [Cartoon 1] [Magic Spell]
We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.
And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing!
Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###