Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy

Kidnapped: Monster on the Loose, Part 2

July 12, 2022
Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy
Kidnapped: Monster on the Loose, Part 2
Show Notes Transcript

“Kidnapped: Monster on the Loose, Part 2” - Episode 49

Bob, the ten-foot-tall kanga-dyno-roo that Perswayssick County leader “Zig” Gneeecey unwittingly created, remains on the loose. The monster has hopped two-hundred-fifty stories up, smashed through a window, and snatched Gneeecey and his stranded Earthling employee/boarder Nicki Rodriguez. 

Bob boings his way through Perswayssick City, with Gneeecey and Nicki trapped inside his pouch as he terrorizes civilians and law enforcement, leaving behind a wide swath of destruction. 

Local superhero Sooperflea’s powers have been failing lately, but now it’s a matter of life and death. He must work through his fears and doubts, neutralize Bob, and rescue his fellow canine-humanoid best pal Gneeecey and his human friend Nicki. 

We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean and Sammie for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say! 

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And much thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

This Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy podcast is made possible in part by a generous grant from The Ardelle Institute, providing Executive Coaching for aspiring and established professionals who want to develop their careers, including upwardly-mobile executives, professionals who may be in between jobs, and college graduates transitioning to the workforce. The Ardelle Institute helps with resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, interview skills, and effective job search strategies.  For more information, please call (201) 394-6939, that's (201) 394-6939, or visit them on the web at ardelle-institute.com, that's A-R-D-E-L-L-E dash institute dot com. Take it from me, Gneeecey!

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Transcript / “Kidnapped: Monster on the Loose, Part 2”- episode 49, written by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2022 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. 

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki, and the gang….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Boing] [Scream] [Metal Crash] [Monster Scream] [Male Scream 3] [Car Honks] [Scream] [Car Crash] [Glass Shatter] [Male Scream 3] [Police Sirens] 

SOOPERFLEA, AKA FLEA, AKA FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE: Oh, boy, I’d better call Zig’s nervologist, Doctor Idnas! She helps me too! [Cell Phone Dialing] [Dial Tone]

DOCTOR ALEXANDRA C. IDNAS: Hallo, Doctor Idnas speaking.

F: Doctor Idnas—it’s me, Sooperflea—callin’ ya to help me get up some courage!

SFX: [Monster Scream] [Male Scream 3] [Ambulance Siren]

DI: Flea! I just turned on dee news! Vhat in Bogeltorpe’s name ees going on? Eet looks like dere’s a beeg monster terrorizing Persvayssick City! Destroying everyting een eet’s path! 

F: Oh, Doctor Idnas—this monster—our Zig Gneeecey created it! That’s what he was hidin’ an’ feedin’ up in his third-floor library the whole time—that’s what was makin’ all the noise!

DI: Oh, my goodness—to tink vee vere in dee same house vhere a monster vas—many times!

F: It’s a ten-foot-tall kanga-dyno-roo—a kangaroo wit’ the strength of a dinosaur! An’ Zig programmed its brain with lots of stuff from his own brain!

DI: Oh, dear! Dat makes dis monster vary unpredictable!

F: More dangerousical, for sure! An’ Zig named it Bob! Supposed to protect him from all them bad guys—y’know, Sulak the evil clown of bathrooms, that obnoxious clown Three, plus Zig’s lookalike Ebegneeezer, an’ them alien gangster Markmen.

DI: Dose are dee nefarious individuals who have banded together and call demselves “STEM,” right?

F: Yupperooney! So, Bob busted through the walls of Zig’s mansion an’ hopped all the way down here to Edgar Vompt Boulevard an’ our GAS Broadcast Network headquarters. An’ two minutes ago, he jumped two hundred an’ fifty stories up an’ smashed his fists through a window —an’—an’ he snatched Nicki an’ Zig right outta the AM radio studio! Kidnapped ’em! 

DI: Oh, Flea! Vhat vill vee do?

F: Perswayssick City an’ county cops are priddy busy, now—all heck has broken loose! SFX: [Metal Crash] [Monster Scream] [Male Scream 3] [Explosion] [Glass Shatter] [Scream] [Police Sirens] 

F: I gotta save Nicki an’ Zig! I jus’ hope my superhero flyin’ feature is workin’ today—can’t do this mission on foot! Y’know, my superhero powers are still kinda spotty! Me…Perswayssick County’s most illustrious superhero…. I ain’t too confident…I’m actually kinda scared…. But I am gonna do this!

DI: Flea, I know you vill! I believe in you! But please be careful—

SFX: [Intarface 2]

F: Thank you so much, Doc, gotta go—got another call comin’ in—looks like it’s from Zig’s phone! SFX: [Intarface 2]

DI: Please, please, keep Grandma and me posted!

F: Will do, Doctor Idnas…will do…. Zig! Is that you?

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Stinkin’ yeah, Fleaglossitty! Can’t talk too long. Forgot to charge my lousy phone—battery’s dyin’. Bob threw me an’ the Ig in his pouch here, an’ he’s hoppin’ away to somewheres. He moves priddy fast—we’re proboobably awready outside city limits ’cause I don’t hear no more sirens or nuthin’. I jus’ hear leaves crunchin’. Ya gotta come save me!

F: Zig, I’m lookin’ at Bob right now! He’s still here outside your office right here on Edgar Vompt Boulevard! SFX: [Metal Crash 1] He jus’ ate a whole stop sign—he must be part goat, too! He’s still makin’ a mess of everythin’ as I stand here watchin’! He’s hoppin’ ’round an’ bustin’ everythin’ in his way! SFX: [Explosion] [Male Scream 3] He seems real mad! You don’t hear all them sirens blastin’—wailin’ away right now? What’s that kangaroo pouch you’re in? Soundproof?

G: Nah, this pouch ain’t soundproof—I didn’t build it that way. I only hear leaves crunchin’ each time Bob hops, an’ I hear birdies too, y’know, talkin’ to each other! But now that’cha mention it, I do hear a few sirens in the background, real, real soft, but  I’m hearin’ ’em through your phone, not outside here.

F: Strange, Zig! Can you an’ Nicki see out through the top of the pouch?

G: Nah, Fleaglossitty. Bob’s real strong—I built him that way. He stuffed me an’ the Ig priddy far down in this here pouch. Kinda hard to breathe. Ya gotta come save me! Uh-oh…oh, stinkin’ nooo…. [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying]

F: What now? Can I have a word wit’ Nicki? Zig!

G: [Cartoon Character Annoyed Crying] My lousy phone, it’s dyin’…it’s…it’s….

F: Zig! Zig!

SFX: [Fail Horn] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] [Boing] [Metal Crash] [Monster Scream] [Male Scream 3] [Police Sirens] [Ambulance Sirens] [Glass Shatter] [Scream]

F: Mmmmm…what tasty coffee my good friends Aileen Bean an’ Sammie jus’ bought me through buymeacoffee.com. I feel energized—I bet’cha it’ll help me fly better! Thanks, Aileen an’ Sammie! Now, please youse two, go back inside—it’s too dangerousical out here, wit’ Bob on the loose, hoppin’ mad! SFX: [Monster Scream] [Male Scream 3] I’m scared, but I’m gonna do this! I’m Sooperflea! Famous red-caped canine-humanoid superhero! I can do this…I can do this…I will do this….

SFX: [Magic Spell]

F: Okay. I think I’m ready. It’s now or never….Now, it’s wise for me not to fly directly outta that two-hundred-fiftieth-floor window up there, in case my flyin’ feature ain’t workin’…. So, I’m gonna take a runnin’ leap from the ground here an’ hope I take off…. An’ yeah, I do have a habit of talkin’ to myself when I’m stressed out…which I most certainly am…okay…here goes! 

SFX: [Cartoon Superhero Vocal Fanfare] [Superpower FlyBy] [Helicopter]

F: Yayyysickles! I’m up in the air! Flyin’ above this whole mess! Tryin’ my best to follow Bob! But, oh, man, he’s hoppin’ faster than I can fly! He’s hoppin’ outta city limits! SFX: [Helicopter] Ooops—I’m a little too close to that helicopter! Lemme reduce my altitude a bit… SFX: [Superpower FlyBy] Looks like Bob’s headin’ toward that giant forest by Street Road… SFX: [Crows] Ah, my fine-feathered buddies, the crows…I swear they’re winkin’ at me! I’ve always been nice to ’em, feedin’ ’em peanuts, an’ I believe they recognize me! Hi, pals! SFX: [Crows] Zig gets mad at me for feedin’ ’em…but I guess I shouldn’t pick on Zig now…at a time like this…. SFX:[Propeller Plane] [Superpower FlyBy] Wowzickles—another close call! Jus’ missed that little prop plane! Now, I really, really wanna know, how could Zig possibly think Bob was awready in these woods here when he was actually still outside the office, on Vompt Boulevard, eatin’ signs and bustin’ stuff? Yikes! Holy Saint Bogelthorpe! I don’t believe it! [Shocking Revelation 2] [Fail Horn] [Shocking Revelation 3] [Spooky Hollow Fear] [Boing] There are two Bobs down there! Uh-oh—I’m losin’ altitude—I’m craaashin’—right ontoppa this big treeeeeeee! SFX: [Passing Swoosh Exploding] [Leaves Crunching] [Boing] An’ I can’t get down—I’m stuck—hangin’ off this real high branch—by my cape! [Fabric Tear] Oh, nooo! Cape jus’ ripped—I’m hangin’ here by a thread! SFX:  [Crunching Leaves] [Monster Screams] I got two Bobs grabbin’ at me! Haaalp! To be continued!

SFX: [Fail Horn] [Orchestra Cliffhanger] [Magic Spell] We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode! We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, Toni Aponte, and Aileen Bean for being generous supporting members through BuyMeACoffee.com.

And thank you for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to tell a friend! And keep on laughing! 

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###