Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy

Girl Power: Pop Went the Weasel, Part 8

May 03, 2022
Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy
Girl Power: Pop Went the Weasel, Part 8
Show Notes Transcript

“Girl Power: Pop Went the Weasel, Part 8,” Episode 39

In this concluding episode of the “Pop Went the Weasel” miniseries, Sooperflea’s and Nicki’s courage—and Gneeecey’s questionable powers of common sense—are put to the test when they discover that evil aliens are plotting to seize control of Perswayssick County.

We thank Marysol Rodriguez, Sandi Solá, Sal Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, and Toni Aponte for being generous supporting members via BuyMeACoffee.com! We appreciate their sponsorship and support more than words can say! 

https://buymeacoffee.com/Perswayssick (Please support us with a one-time gift or monthly sponsorship amount—various levels available—to help keep us coming to you via BuyMeACoffee.com! We’ll shout you out during our podcast episodes and in our show notes here, plus supply you with more fun perks!)  

https://www.amazon.com/Vicki-Sola/e/B07J29RVMQ (Amazon Author Page, check out our Gneeecey/Nicki e-books and paperbacks!)

https://www.nfreads.com/interview-with-author-vicki-sola/ (Interview with Vicki Solá)

https://perswayssickradio.buzzsprout.com (right here, our Buzzsprout website w/episodes & transcripts!)   

And much thanks to disproportionately cool artist Jay Hudson for our podcast logo! https://yojayhudson.com/

This Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy podcast is made possible in part by a generous grant from The Ardelle Institute, providing Executive Coaching for aspiring and established professionals who want to develop their careers, including upwardly-mobile executives, professionals who may be in between jobs, and college graduates transitioning to the workforce. The Ardelle Institute helps with resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, interview skills, and effective job search strategies.  For more information, please call (201) 394-6939, that's (201) 394-6939, or visit them on the web at ardelle-institute.com, that's A-R-D-E-L-L-E dash institute dot com. Take it from me, Gneeecey!

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Transcript / “Girl Power: Pop Went the Weasel, Part 8,” episode 39, written by Vicki Solá. 

All content © 2022 Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. 

Music/Intro: Hi there, I’m author and radio host Vicki Solá, welcoming you to Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy. I invite you to escape with me into the bizarre dimension of Perswayssick County, where wackiness rules! The laughs begin when I morph into my alter ego, radio DJ Nicki Rodriguez and clash with the zany, alien canine-humanoid Gneeecey! And now, I turn it over to my other self, Nicki….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Halloween Music Box Cinematic Logo] 

NARRATOR VICKI SOLA: Vicki here again. We left off last time with Perswayssick County leader Bizzig “Zig” Gneeecey flying a helicopter after watching a video on how to fly a copter—on his cellphone. The zany canine-humanoid was determined to reach his high-tech vacation cabin in Booolebeeezia, a region located on the county’s outskirts. Gneeecey had a hunch that his missing pal, fellow canine-humanoid Sooperflea, also known as Flea and Fleaglossitty, and his missing Earthling employee and reluctant boarder Nicki Rodriguez were holed up there against their will. And, in case you missed our last episode, Gneeecey made quite an entrance….

SFX: [Magic Spell] [Helicopter Crashing Into Building] [Large Shatter Glass] [Glass Debris] [Dish Ceramic]

DIROCTOR BIZZIG “ZIG” GNEEECEY: Yaaaaaaaaah! Jus’ busted through my cabin’s gigaaantical picture window! Chopper’s stuck an’ blockin’ all the light. Lemme get outta this thing…lucky I can…. Only things busted are my watch an’ this chopper…I don’t think she’ll ever fly again unless we can get her fixed real cheap…. Wowzickles, it’s stinkin’ dark in here! 

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers] [Cartoon Slip] [Slip and Fall] [Duck Horn] Ow! Fell on my bimbus! Yeah, my watch, the chopper, an’ my bimbus are busted. An’ my big picture window, too. Like I said, it’s so stinkin’ dark in here—lousy chopper’s blockin’ out all the light!

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers] [Audience Laughter] 

SOOPERFLEA, AKA FLEA, AKA FLEAGLOSSITTY FLOPPINSPLODGE: Jus’ turn on the light, Zig…an’ come untie us!

[Cartoon 1]

G: Fleaglossitty? Is thaaat yooou?

F: Yeah, Zig! An’ I gotta say, ya sure know how to make an entrance. 

G: Where in Bogelthorpe’s name are ya?

F: We’re in the kitchen. Tied up an’ bein’ tortured—bein’ forced to watch reruns of your favorite sitcom, “Angry Little Airplanes”! Didn’t realize they made so many episodes!

SFX: [Audience Laughter] [Cartoon 2] [Donkey] [Moo]

DADDY AIRPLANE: I’m Daddy Airplane an’ I’m ridin’ through this blizzard in the tropics. But it’s okay—I’ve hitched a snowplow to my half-donkey-half-cow here. Gotta get into town to buy them last two tickets to Spit Wit’out Color’s farewell concert!

SFX: [Audience Laughter] [Donkey] [Moo] [Cartoon 3]

G: Sounds like my favorite epoopisode. Y’know, where Daddy Airplane’s ridin’ his half-donkey-half-cow through that big snowstorm in the tropics to buy his son the last two tickets in town to see Spit Wit’out Color’s farewell concert. But the boy awready bought ’em to surprise the half-donkey-half-cow. 

F: Zig, the episode ain’t funny the twentieth time. Now, please come an’ help us—we’re tied up in these real uncomfortable little red rubber chairs. Our hands are tied behind us, too! An’ we’re bein’ forced to watch your giant TV. 

SFX: [Audience Laughter] [Cartoon 1]

G: Okay, Fleaglossitty. Okay.

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers] Cartoon Slip] [Slip and Fall] [Glass Shatter] [Glass Debris] [Dish Ceramic] [Duck Horn]

G: Ow! Fell on my lousy bimbus again!

F: I said, turn on the light, Zig! SFX: [Atmosphere]

G: Oh, yeah. SFX: [Metal Click 3] [Sneakers Squeaking] Ig! You’re here, too! 

NICKI RODRIGUEZ: Uh, that would be Nicki, and yes, I’m here too. Flea and I were both—

G: Fleaglossitty, I woulda thought your superhero powers woulda protected ya! 

F: That evil demon clown of bathrooms—y’know, Sulak—somehow managed to neutralize my powers! An’ he kidnapped me—snatched me outta thin air—when you an’ me were runnin’ from bathroom to bathroom in your mansion.

N: And he whisked me away! He somehow tracked me down through all that black smoke back at 98.6 Normal Radio. He held me hostage and forced me to drive here the next morning!

G: An’ y’know, ya Ig, I wanna know, what were ya even stinkin’ doin’ there at 98.6 Normal Radio—yooou know that they’re my GAS Broadcast Network’s biggest compoopetition! Yooou stinkin’ better tell me why you were there!

F: This ain’t a discussion for now, Zig! An’ wait till ya see who’s tied to the, uh, commode in your bathroom over there across the hall! Your evil lookalike from Planet HyenaZitania! 

G: The missin’ Ebegneeezer Gesundheit Eeeceygnay who stinkin’ acts like he’s better an’ more sophistiphoosticated than meee? How are we gonna use the lousy terlit then, if someone’s tied to it?

SFX: [Flushing Toilet]

F: Sounds like he jus’ did!

EBEGNEEEZER GESUNDHEIT EEECEYGNAY: Oh, say, old chap, I demand that you free me immediately from your loo here! It is no longer necessary that I be tied to your commode, as convenient as it has been at times. Indeed, it shall prove to be to your disadvantage not to comply with my wishes! That evil clown associate of yours managed to counteract my considerable powers, as well!

G: I don’t stinkin’ trust ya, Ebegoogoo—never did an’ never will! Nebberd-kinnezzard! That means extra never on my Planet Eccchs! An’ that evil clown ain’t my associate!

F: Zig, will ya jus’ come untie Nicki an’ me, an’ while you’re at it, reach for that remote control an’ turn off this stupid show!

SFX: [Cartoon 1]

G: My show ain’t stupid! I even got a Angry Little Airplanes T-shirt an’ a signed poster! An’ a Daddy Airplane action figure! 

F: C’mon, Zig!

G: But, Fleaglossitty, it’s gettin’ to the best part, y’know, where nobody knew the half-donkey-half-cow was half-goat, too—he ate the Spit Wit’out Color tickets when the mailman’s uncle-in-law stopped by to borrow some recycled toilet paper, an’—

N: Doctor Gneeecey, will you please just—

G: That’s Diroctor Gneeecey—I’m a doctor an’ director—Grate Gizzygalumpaggis of this whole lousy Perswayssick County! An’ ya know what else I wanna know? How did that lousy evil clown Sulak find out ’bout my secret hideaway here in the mountains of Booolabeeezia? How did he even stinkin’ know where—

SFX: [Magic Summon] [Evil Clown Laugh 6] 

G: Stinkin’ Sulak! 

SULAK, DEMON CLOWN OF BATHROOMS: Awright, Diroctor Grate Gizzygalumpaggis, siddown—in this nice little red chair here!

G: No!

SFX: [Magic Summon] [Boing]

G: How’d ya make me siddown when I didn’t wanna?

F: Wowzickles, Zig! He instantly tied you up, too, jus’ like he did us!

SFX: [Evil Clown Laugh 6] [Cellphone Ring] [Scary Ambience] 

S: Gotta answer this…. Heya, Mark… yeah, now I got all four of ’em here, safe an’ snug! Still gotta determine if that silly-lookin’ Ebegneeezer, who looks jus’ like—

G: He ain’t thaaat silly-lookin’—

S: Shaddap! As I was sayin’, Mark, we still gotta determine if this silly-lookin’ Ebegneeezer’s tellin’ us the truth or not…. He claims not to speak Booolabeeezian…yeah, okay, I’ll meet ya down on Krappsie Lane in a half-hour. That’ll give ya a chance to zogulate down by the river. Plenny of mierk there. I gotta take care of some business here first. Bye! SFX: [Evil Clown Laugh 6]

G: Ya stooopid clown! This chair’s hurtin’ my lousy bimbus! Halp! Haalp! Stinkin’ haaalp!

S: Ugh—your breath—talk about dog breath—

SFX: [Magic Summon] [Magic Glitter]

G: Usually, my socks have that effect on people….

F: Zig, ya made Sulak totally dematerialize—jus’ like that—wit’ your bad breath! You’re our new secret weapon!

G: Shaddaaap, Fleaglossitty! Your breath don’t smell like a dozen long-stemmed red roses neitherwise!

SFX: [Fail Horn] [Magic Spell] [Halloween Music Box Cinematic Logo] 

F: At least that obnoxious TV show ain’t on no more!

G: Hey—that’s ’cause my stinkin’ real igspensive TV disappeared wit’ that lousy evil Sulak jus’ now! He stole it! He stole my zillion-dollar teeeeeveeee!

N: Okay, guys, we’ve gotta talk now! I have a feeling he’ll be back! We don’t have much time!

G: Whaddaya think I’m doin’, ya Ig? Knittin’ a sweater?

N: And let’s not talk too loud—y’know, ’cause of you-know-who in the bathroom there!

G: I stinkin’ want that Ebegoogoo offa my terlit an’ outta my bathroom—now!

N: Ssssssh!

E: Well, then, old chap, it would behoove you to come and unshackle me from your porcelain throne immediately!

G: Shaaadaaap, Ebegoogoo! 

N: Diroctor Gneeecey, listen to me…before your, uh, grand entrance a little while ago, Flea and I were talking.

F: Yeah, Zig. Remember, Sulak gave Nicki that strange clue?

N: Another word for “stalk,” he’d said. An’ that I’d be even more scared once I figure it out.

G: Yeah. An’ he said it was a noun, not a verb. I was actually thinkin’ ’bout that shortly before I, uh, parked the copter in my window here.

N: Well, Diroctor Gneeecey, Flea and I figured out that another word for “stalk” is “stem.”

F: An’ that’s a noun besides bein’ a verb. 

N: So, we think it’s an acronym. 

F: An’ Nicki an’ I think we figured out what each letter stands for.

N: Yep! S is for Sulak, T is for his evil clown pal Three, E is either for evil or for Ebegneeezer—

E: Did someone just, perchance, utter my given name?

N: No!

E: You appear to be extremely irritable, Earth Girl!

N: You wanna find out just how irritable I am?

E: Negative, Earth Girl…. Negative.

N: Okay, Diroctor Gneeecey. So, Flea and I think the E could either stand for evil, or for, well, y’know, him in there.

G: An’ whaddabout the M?

N: Well, the phone conversation that Sulak just had with Mark, y’know, one of those Markmen you claim are your friends, well, there’s your M.

SFX: [Cinematic Boom A]

G: I think youse two are rushin’ to judgment!

F: Zig, it looks even more like the M is for Mark an’ Markmen, ’cause Sulak jus’ spoke wit’ one of ’em, plus he told the Markman that he’ll have time to zogulate, down by the river.

G: Well…. That don’t really prove nuthin’.

N: Diroctor Gneeecey, you know what it means to zogulate!

G: Yeah, it’s when our friends—

F: They ain’t our friends, Zig!

G: Stinkin’ whatever…. I know zogulatin’ is when them Markmen slather our county’s beaudiful gumpy mierk all over their invisible selves to make their bodies!

N: Yes! Otherwise, they’d just be a bunch of floating eyeballs! 

F: They’re from Planet of the Marked Men, an’ they destroyed their own world—an’ now they wanna exploit an’ possibly destroy ours, too, for all our mierk!

N: Yep! They floated through time and space to this dimension of Perswayssick County, where they’ve found all the mierk they’ll ever need to keep creating bodies for themselves!

F: An’ up here in Booolabeeezia, the Perswayssick River’s banks are extra mierky!

G: Ah, hah, haah, fiduciary! SFX: [Clinking Coins] Ah, hah, haah, fiduciary! SFX: [Clinking Coins] Still sneeezin’ out all these dimes, heh, heh, heh….

F: Sounds like, uh, someone might be allergic to the truth! 

G: Heh, heh, possiboobly….

N: So, Sulak, his buddy Three, plus the guy tied to your toilet in there, and the Markmen all have banded together for their own selfish gain—they’re stronger together! Sulak and Three are power-hungry—and so is that, uh, guy in your bathroom. He may never find a way to return to his Planet HyenaZitania, where he rules, but he could become powerful here—by impersonating you!

G: Oh, stinkin’ no!

F: I betcha they’re plottin’ to take over our Perswayssick County, or at least Booolabeeezia!

G: Ya mean, they’re Booolabeeezian sepooparatists? I really gotta stop this!

SFX: [Cinematic Boom A] [Squeaking Sneakers]

F: Zig—Holy Saint Bogelthorpe—look what you’re doin’!

G: I’m walkin’ an’ thinkin’—at the same time! Takes some practice, but I’m doin’ it!

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers]

F: No, Zig—

G: Whaddaya mean, no, Fleaglossitty? You ain’t even walkin’ an’ ya certaintaeously ain’t thinkin’—as usual!

F: No need to get personal!

N: What Flea means is that even though you’re tied up, you’re still managing to walk around—wit that little red chair tied to your butt—your, uh, bimbus! That means we can walk around, too!

F: Yeah! Feels good to stand up!

N: Sure does! And these little chairs are really light, too!

G: See, I’m a stinkin’ innovator! A dopey genius! Ain’t lost my touch!

SFX: [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo] [Glass Shatter] [Dish Ceramic] [Splash Water 1] 

E: Good afternoon. Would anyone care for tea? There may possibly be crumpets festering in the cupboard here. SFX: [Splash Water 1] 

N: I don’t freakin’ believe it! SFX: [Dish Ceramic]

F: Ebegneeezer pulled the whole terlit up from the bathroom floor, an’ he’s walkin’ ’round wit’ it still attached to his bimbus—

G: Yeah! Tied to his snooty bimbus! An’ he’s drippin’ terlit water all over my floors!

N: Diroctor Gneeecey, quick, let’s untie each other’s hands! Then we can ditch these chairs and get outta here—

F: Yeah. We can’t drive wit’ a chair attached to our bimbus—be sittin’ too high up on the car’s seat to reach the pedals! C’mon, Zig, like Nicki said, let’s untie each other! We gotta leave!

SFX: [Squeaking Sneakers]

G: Leave! That’s jus’ what I’m stinkin’ gonna do! Leave through the side door here! SFX: [Door Open]

N: Diroctor Gneeecey—no!

F: Zig! Wait! 

SFX: [Cartoon Slip]

G: Haaaaaalp! Someone took away the stairs! 

SFX: [Crunching Leaves] [Squeaking Sneakers]

F: Oh, no! Zig’s stuck high up in a real tall tree—still tied to that chair!

N: There’s nothing but tall trees up on this mountain! Careful, Flea—don’t lean too far out the door!

F: I can see that Zig’s tree is up on the edge of what looks like a small cliff!

N: Holy— 

F: —Saint Bogelthorpe! I ain’t never flown wit’ a chair tied to my bimbus, but I gotta fly up there an’ save Zig right now—before he falls outta that tree an’ offa the cliff!

N: Wait, Flea—

F: My superhero powers have been workin’ a little better lately—

N: But you said that Sulak neutralized them!

F: I gotta try, Nicki, I gotta try! Can’t leave Zig up there! I’ll come back for you!

N: Flea, at least let me untie your—

F: Here goes! 

SFX: [Cartoon Slip] [Crunching Leaves] 

F: Oh, no! Chair weighed me down—I’m stuck in the same tree wit’ Zig! An’ our weight is makin’ the tree bend—toward the edge of the cliff! 

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp! Haaalp!

SFX: [Cinematic Boom A] [Fail Horn] [Halloween Music Box Cinematic Logo] [Magic Summon] [Scary Ambience] [Evil Clown Laugh 6] 

S: I’m baaaaack! Wit’ my pal Mark—such a lovely pair of floatin’ baby blues! 

MARKMAN: Forgive my immodesty. Didn’t have no time to zogulate.

N: I—I—

E: Well, Earth Girl, it most certainly appears that you have found yourself in the midst of quite an unwinnable situation! A rather dire predicament, if I may say so! 

S: We’re gonna take care of your two friends up in that tree! SFX: [Evil Clown Laugh 6] 

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

M: Yeah—we’re gonna pick ’em like fruit! Hah, hah, hah….

E: A rather winning idea, I say! 

S: My buddy Three, the nine-foot-tall clown, eats canine-humanoids like them for breakfast! 

M: An’ after we make you watch us deal with them, Earth Girl, we’re gonna take care of you!

S: An’ we’re finally gonna take over this here Perswayssick County!

E: I say, a rather brilliant move!

M: Heya, Ebegnoooz or whatever your name is, we don’t exactly trust you either! 

S: But, we do need ya, Ebegneeezer. Ya look so much like that dopey Grate Gizzygalumpaggis Gneeecey that we’re gonna make you impersonate him!

M: You’ll make sure we get everything we want—or else….

E: Oh, I can absolutely assist you! And perhaps be able to procure some favors in return.

S: Yeah. We ain’t lettin’ ya out of our sight! 

N: You’ll never get away with this!

M: You won’t get away, Earth Girl, that’s for sure! Now let’s take care of them two dumb canine-humanoids out there. Then her. We can get ridda all three of ’em up here, an’ no one’ll be the wiser!

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

N: I said, you’ll never get away with this!

M & S: Oh, yeah?

E: Rather amusing, this entire situation!

S: Should we tie her to that beam over there, or just throw her out the door there? She can watch us get them two canine-humanoids from either angle!

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

M: Hah, hah, hah, why don’t we flip a coin?

E: I would most certainly be willing to flip the coin. There are a number of them on the floor here. That brainless idiot Gneeecey seems to sneeze them out quite regularly.

S: Hey! Why ya lookin’ at us like that, ya human Earth girl? Stop starin’! Ain’t polite! Your human eyes are burnin’ holes through me! Stop lookin’ at us!

M: Yeah! What he said! Ya look real mad! You’re meltin’ my eyes wit’ yours!

E: Stop, you impudent human! You do look rather furious!

SFX: [Slot Clunk]

M: She just busted outta them ropes tyin’ her to the chair! Look at her eyes!

S: That’s an old trick—ain’t gonna work this time, Earth Girl!

N: You are not gonna hurt my friends.

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

SFX: [Hollow Spooky Fear] [Jet Engine Startup] [Scary Ambience]

S: See, Earth Girl? Your old trick wasn’t gonna work no more! SFX: [Evil Clown Laugh 6] 

N: Oh, crap! 

M: You an’ your doggie pals are toast!

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

N: You are not gonna hurt my friends.

SFX: [Hollow Spooky Fear] [Jet Engine Startup] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Magic Glitter] 

N: Wow! I dematerialized all three of ’em! I feel kinda dizzy….

F & G: Halp! Haalp! Haaalp!

N: Gotta pull myself together…gotta help Flea and Gneeecey…. Ebegneeezer was right—I am furious! Evil makes me crazy! I’m so freakin’ angry that all I see in front of me is a steamy white haze! I’m gonna fly up into that tree and save my friends! I will do this!

SFX: [Jet Engine Startup] [Supersonic Aerodynamic Whoosh] [Magic Glitter] 

F: Nicki! Ya jus’ flew up here an’ picked Zig an’ me outta this tree, like—like—

N: Like fruit?

F: Yeah! An’ ya flew us down, real smooth! Wow, Nicki, you have the gift—you have the power!

G: Yeah, Ig, wowzickles! Girl power—you’re priddy cool if I say so my stinkin’ self! But don’t never quote me!

SFX: [Magic Spell] 

N: Okay, guys, my Splodge is still parked right here on the dirt road at the base of this mountain. I’ll drive! 

F: Ya sure you’re up to it, Nicki?

N: Yep.

F: That’s all I need to hear!

G: Youse two ain’t got no argument from me!

SFX: [Car Engine]

G: What’s my poor sore bimbus sittin’ on, now? Some papers! SFX: [Rustling Papers] Let’s see what it says on ’em…. Says, “Thank you, Marysol Rodriguez, Sal Solá, Sandi Solá, Marcellina Ramirez, Rick “El Molestoso” Rivera, Diane L., Brunie Cariño, and Toni Aponte, for being generous supportin’ members through BuyMeACoffee dot com!” Hey, I’ll treat youse guys to a nice cuppa Freak O’ Nature Merk Perk Coffee when we get home! Well, regoogular coffee for yooou, Ig!

N: Sounds like a plan, Diroctor Gneeecey! 

G: I hope that lousy nine-foot-tall evil clown Three ain’t gonna be in my backyard, y’know, plottin’ wit’ that evil Mister Tree when we get back home.

N: If he is, we’ll deal with him. Now, would one of you please call Doctor Idnas to let her and Grandma know we’re okay? And, uh, Diroctor Gneeecey, that was very brave of you to pilot that helicopter.

SFX: [Car Horns] [Halloween Spooky & Fun Logo] [Magic Spell]

Nicki Rodriguez here again—and wow, is it great to be back, even if it means living with and working for Gneeecey again! We hope you enjoyed this week’s episode of “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy!” And we thank you for listening. Please help us spread the word—please tell a friend about us! We appreciate every single download! 

Time now to turn it back over to my alter ego, Vicki. Until next time, be well and stay safe!

SFX: [Magic Spell]

Vicki here again. Thanks so much for tuning in to “Perswayssick Radio: Unearthly Comedy.” We hope you enjoyed traveling to this loopy dimension with us and that you’ll come along again! Our new episodes drop every Tuesday morning! Please make sure to subscribe and tell a friend! And keep on laughing!

Frank: It’s a Gneeecey thing! [SFX: Door Slam] ###